Keeping Faith
by DoNotDryClean
Summary: NS He who loses faith, loses all. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Well I'm back with another story. It's kinda angsty and sad and depressing. But despite all that, I hope you still read and enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **I dont own anything except and plot.

* * *

The police lights flashed out across the dark Las Vegas night. Police officers milled out around the front of a property, the lights flashing across their faces and illuminating the area. A few news reporters also hung around, desperate for the latest scoop of the latest case. Crime scene tape secured the property, and a CSI Denali sat near the police cars. It looked like another ordinary crime scene is Las Vegas. But this was no ordinary case.

Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows made their way up the small slope to front of an abandoned warehouse, a popular choice of place to dump unwanted bodies. A police officer guarded the front, and with a nod to him, both of the CSI's stepped inside.

It was cold inside the warehouse, and Catherine shivered as she saw the first piece of evidence; the first clue that this was like the others. A pair of underwear lay at the entrance, and she swallowed painfully at the sight.

_This is just like the others… god damn it!_

Grissom gently grabbed her elbow, helping her side step the evidence. They continued their way across the empty space, noticing the other signs, but not acknowledging them. They both needed to know. The evidence could wait a minute longer.

Catherine could see the body now. She could tell that Grissom had noticed it too. He stiffened at her side, but continued on forwards.

They needed the proof.

With each step, they grew closer to the body, and with each step closer, Catherine's heart became heavier. And when she finally caught a closer look of the bruised and bloodied body, her heart dropped, and the hand that didn't hold her field kit clutched her mouth, trying but failing to stifle the gasp that rose from her throat.

"It's her, isn't it?" She gasped.

She wasn't asking the question. She'd known this face for 5 years, and there was no denying who lay there. She caught a look at Grissom. The supervisor's usually stoic face showed great shock, and grief. His hand rose to place it on Catherine's shoulder, comforting her.

"It's just sick," she choked out finally, tearing her eyes away from the body. "How could you do that to anyone, especially a-"

She was cut short, as a man's yell cut through the thick air. They both turned, and caught sight of Nick Stokes, desperately trying to make his way through the police officer barricades. Catherine stifled another gasp, but Grissom was all business again. He strode over to Nick, not wanting him inside the warehouse.

He didn't need to see this.

"Let me in there," Nick cried out. Grissom gently pushed him back.

"You need to go," Grissom told him forcefully. Nick just shook his head, standing his ground.

"Just tell me," he muttered angrily. "Just tell me if it's her…"

Grissom just shut his eyes, but that was all Nick needed.

"Oh God…"

Grissom immediately grabbed Nick's shoulder to keep him from collapsing, as the younger man grabbed his head in grief.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "It might be someone else."

Denial

Grissom nodded. "I'm sorry…"

Nick just shook his head. "I need to see the body."

"You know I can't do that Nick," Grissom said regretfully. "The crime scene is fresh…"

Nick shoved Grissom's hand off his shoulder. "How about, just for once, you stuff the crime scene!"

"Nick!"

Sara's voice startled them from behind, and they turned. Her clothes were rumpled. She'd slept in the same ones for days. Her hair was messy. Her eye's had dark rims around them.

She didn't look healthy.

"Is it her?"

Her voice sounded almost business like, slightly quivering with emotion. Nerves and hope. But as soon as Nick nodded his head, she crumbled. Her face screwed up, and she let out a cry and a gasp, breaking Grissom's heart.

They didn't deserve this.

No one deserved that.

Nick gathered Sara up into his arms, holding the distraught woman against him, stroking her back, and trying to keep himself together.

For Sara's sake

And their daughter's.

Who was lying dead in that warehouse.

* * *

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who replied. Let me know what you think :)

* * *

6 Years Earlier

"_Sara? Are you in there darlin'?_

_Nick pounded on the door; calling out to the woman who he knew was inside. She hadn't been at work for days, which was quite unlike the Sara everyone knew and loved. He was concerned, to say the least. So here he was now, knocking on Sara's door after shift had finished._

_A shift she hadn't worked. _

_Eventually she answered, pulling the door open. Her eyes were red. She had been crying. Nick's concern grew. It must have been something terrible to make the strong-willed Sara cry. She stepped back, indicating that he could come inside. He did so, and she closed it again. _

_Silence filled the apartment, before she gestured to her small kitchen._

"_Do you want something to drink?"_

_Her voice was husky and quivering slightly, and Nick shook his head, moving closer to her._

"_You want to tell me what's up?" he asked her gently. She swallowed, and battles raged inside her head, a battle between yes and no. Sara was his best friend. Nick hoped she would be able to tell him when she was upset, especially when it made her miss work. _

_She didn't reply, just stood there blankly, and Nick gave up. Reaching over to her, he brushed his hand along her cheek. She pulled back, looking confused._

"_I'm just looking out for you," he told her softly. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. I just wanted to see if you were okay."_

_When she didn't say anything, he added. "I'll just get going."_

_He'd made it as far as the door, when she spoke again._

"_He left me…"_

_The pain in her words broke his heart, and he turned to face her again, horrified to see tears leak out of her eye. _

"_I told him I loved him, and he left me."_

_He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, laying her head against his chest as she sobbed. _

_Someone had broken her heart._

_She had loved someone, and they had thrown it back in her face._

_He held her tighter. "Who did?"_

"_Grissom."_

_The word was like a punch in the face. Now everything made sense. The subtle glances, the 'hidden' touches, the fact that they hadn't disagreed for what seemed like an eternity. Grissom had finally pulled his head out of the microscope._

_And now he had cruelly replaced it again. _

_Leaving a broken woman behind._

_Nick eventually pulled Sara down onto her couch, holding her until she calmed down. He stroked her hair, placed small, soothing kisses on her forehead, and just held her. _

_She didn't deserve this. _

_She deserved so much more. _

_She deserved someone who would love her like she deserved to be loved. _

_And that's what made him kiss her._

_It hadn't been his choice entirely. She had looked up at him, eyes still filled to the brim with unshed tears, and he hadn't been able to stop himself from pressing his lips against hers. He told himself it was wrong. He was taking advantage of a vulnerable woman. But when she snaked her arms around his neck, and probed her tongue into his mouth, it was clear that she wanted this as much as he did. _

_She needed this._

_She needed someone to love her._

_And when they fell onto her bed, lips still connected, arms' pulling at each other's clothes, it was clear that Nick was that someone. _

* * *

The house was silent.

So silent.

There was no Rugrats on the television, no giggling from the hallway of the Stokes' Residence, no squeals of delight coming from the backyard as Nick pushed his daughter on the new swing set.

Only silence.

Nick hated the silence.

Grissom had sent them from the crime scene. Sent them back home, the last place Nick wanted to be with his daughter's killer on the loose. But he couldn't be hands-on anymore. He needed to be at home.

With Sara.

She hadn't come out of Emily's room. Nick had followed her at first, but upon seeing the room, he had fled it. Fled to the living room, sitting on the plush couch. He couldn't look at Emily's room.

It hurt too much.

Sara hadn't spoken on the way home. She was silent, her voice blank. He wanted to comfort her, to wrap his arms around her body, and tell her everything would be okay. Like he had always done.

But nothing was okay anymore.

He sat in the darkened living room, and only light coming from the outside street lamps. His head was in his hands.

Finally, he couldn't stand the silence anymore, and he made his way down the hall to Emily's room. He pushed the door open.

Sara was curled up on Emily's bed, clutching her daughter's favorite stuffed toy, the one Greg had given her when she was born.

And Sara was crying.

She was crying softly, the sounds muffled by the soft fur of the stuffed animal. Nick felt his heart wrench painfully at the sound. He hated to see Sara cry. He hated to see Emily cry.

Did she cry when she was taken? 

Nick walked into the room, and curled up besides Sara on the bed, pulling her against him. She began to sob louder, and Nick began to shake, trying with all his might to keep the tears from coming.

But as his wife let out long, hollowed sobs, it rocked Nick to the core, and he couldn't fight it anymore. For so long they had hoped Emily would turn up alive. For so long they had believed this wasn't the serial at work. That it was random.

And that she would turn up alive.

A single tear dropped down his cheek and landed in Sara's hair. He quickly kissed it away, but more fell, and he let out a hollow sob, causing Sara to break into more hysterical tears.

And as he listened to them sobbing in their daughter's empty room, he came to the conclusion:

Silence wasn't too bad after all.

* * *

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews. Hope you like the new chapter.

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6 Years Ago

"_Are you okay, sweetie?"_

_Nick plonked himself down on the couch besides Sara, who was curled up on the other side, her long legs tucked under herself. She seemed distracted lately, and Nick noticed this more, mainly due to the fact that he and Sara were now officially seeing each other. After their time together over a month ago, Nick had sworn to a nervous Sara as they lay in her bed that he would always take care of her. He'd always liked Sara. It had taken him a while to admit it even to himself. But he had always seen her as 'off limits', as 'Grissom's Girl'. But he knew she wasn't anymore. Grissom had broken her heart, and Nick had been there to pick up the pieces. _

_Sara glanced over at Nick, throwing him a nervous smile. "I'm fine."_

_Nick knew she was lying. She wasn't fine, and he felt hurt that she wouldn't confide in him. He moved closer to her, and pulled her into his arms. She stiffened at first, but soon relaxed in his arms._

"_You know you can tell me anything, don't you?" His hands found her hips, and he gently stroked her skin. She shivered, and Nick smiled. He loved what he could do to her._

_She was silent for a while, but she eventually spoke, her voice quivering with nerves. "I know I can. I just don't think you'll like what I have to say."_

_Nick pulled back a bit to look into her eyes. He brought his hand up to stroke her face. "You can trust me, sweetie," he assured her. She looked away from him._

"_Remember that night we spent together?" she asked him. Of course he remembered. He hadn't made love to her since. He'd wanted to assure her that this wasn't about sex. That this was about her._

_Not her body._

"_Yeah," he replied, unsure of where this was going. _

"_I know we have just started dating," Sara said quickly, "I don't want to wreck this, I really don't want this to end! But I'm not sure how you will react to this, I just-"_

_She had started to ramble, and Nick grabbed her hands, stopping her. "You're starting to worry me," he admitted. "I'm sure it's not that bad."_

_She swallowed. "I'm pregnant."_

_There was silence around the room as Nick jaw dropped. He was beyond shocked. Of course, he had always hoped he would be a father, and he could admit that once or twice he had thought about what it would be like to have a family with Sara. But that didn't mean that the news didn't shock him. _

_What if it was Grissom's?_

"_It's yours," she clarified softly, as if reading his thoughts._

_She must have taken his shocked expression the wrong way, because she got up._

"_I'm so sorry," she whispered, and fled into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her._

_It took him a minute to register the fact that he was going to become a father, and that the mother of his child thought it was unwanted._

_She was wrong._

_As soon as the initial shock wore off, the excitement set in._

_He was going to be a Daddy!_

_He was going to have a baby with a woman he really cared about._

_Loved even._

_He launched himself off the couch, and timidly knocked on the bathroom door. She didn't answer, so he pushed the door open._

_Sara was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. She looked up as he entered, her eyes watery._

"_I'm so sorry," she said again. Nick walked over to her, and kneeled down besides her._

"_Don't be sorry," he breathed out. He leant up and captured her lips. "I'm not." He whispered to her._

_He placed his hand on her stomach, and pushed the material of her shirt up. Without another word to Sara, he bent down, brushing his lips over her lower abdomen. She let out a gasp, which he didn't hear._

"_You're going to have a wonderful Mom," Nick said suddenly, his lips still pressed against Sara's soft belly. He didn't care if Sara thought he was silly, so he continued speaking to his unborn child, as if it was just them in the room._

"_She's gonna love you so much," he said, "And I am too. We're both gonna love you more than anything, no matter who you turn out to be."_

_He looked up at Sara, and leant up to kiss her again._

_As they lay there in Sara's bed that night, she slept soundly, and he gently placed his hand over her still flat stomach, almost feeling the aura of the child as Sara slept. He gently kissed Sara's hair, mumbling to her just before he drifted off to sleep. _

"_I'll protect both of you, I promise."_

* * *

Gil Grissom couldn't stand cases that involved kids. He could never understand why someone would want to hurt a child, something so naïve, something so innocent. Cases with kids had always affected him.

This one even more so.

6 weeks ago, Las Vegas's latest serial killer "The Babysitter", had first struck, kidnapping 5 year old Stephanie Perkins. She'd been found 2 days later, dead, beaten, and raped, the worst kind of case. Unfortunately, Grissom hadn't been able to solve it.

The next week, the same happened. 6 year old Marla Dawson. Exactly like the first, she had been found 2 days later, in exactly the same fashion as Stephanie.

Every week since then, like clockwork, a little girl had been taken.

Killed.

Beaten.

Raped.

This week it had been Nick and Sara's little girl. 5 year old Emily Stokes.

His entire CSI team had been working for weeks trying to solve this case. He had pushed them. Pushed them harder then he had pushed them before. He needed to solve this case. This killer was too smart.

That scared him.

He needed to solve this case more than anything now.

Not only for himself.

But for Nick and Sara.

For Emily, his goddaughter.

He had been more than surprised when Sara and Nick had approached him and asked him to be their child's Godfather. He knew he had hurt Sara. He hadn't wanted to. But he knew she would have been happier with someone else, even if it hurt her by him leaving. But he had been right. She had found Nick.

She smiled again.

So he had said yes.

And he had loved Emily since the day she had been born.

He had sent everyone except himself and Catherine out of the warehouse. No one but CSI allowed inside. His orders.

He and Catherine didn't do anything at first. She was visibly upset, but Grissom didn't bother trying to send her home. She would refuse.

The case was personal now.

Catherine was squatting down beside Emily's body. Just like the other victims, she was naked, bruises riddling her entire tiny body. Her brown curls were tangled and messy, and her face was stained with tears.

She had cried for Nick and Sara.

_I want my mommy!_

_Please, I want my daddy!_

_Mommy!_

_Daddy!_

Swallowing painfully, he moved over to the door, snapping a picture of the underwear, before placing them in an evidence bag. He still needed to process this scene. He didn't trust anyone else too.

Eventually Catherine stood up, joining him in collecting evidence. They worked in silence. They couldn't speak.

He tried to avoid it, but he had to go to the body, to collect the evidence. It was just like the previous 5 victims. In every way.

But this was Emily.

And it was his fault she was dead.

Maybe he had missed some evidence.

Maybe he hadn't worked hard enough.

Maybe God was punishing him.

People often accused Gil Grissom of being unfeeling. That he didn't have emotions. But this was tearing him apart, like nothing had ever done before. He had failed.

He hadn't protected Las Vegas.

And he hadn't protected Emily.

* * *

TBC... 


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love to hear you're feedback.

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_

* * *

5 years earlier_

_Nick ran through the doors of Desert Palm Hospital, leaving them swinging in his wake. Running to the front desk, he tapped on the desk hurriedly, getting the attention of the nurse behind it._

"_Can you please tell me where Sara Sidle is?" Nick asked desperately. The nurse looked at him calmly and quickly typed Sara's named into the computer._

"_She's on level 4," the nurse told him. "Room 7b."_

_Without even a thank you, Nick sped off, using the stairs rather than the elevator, taking 2 stairs at a time. As he reached the 4th floor, he skidded to a halt outside room 7b, and pushed the door open._

_A very pregnant Sara lay on the bed, puffing and panting, as a nurse dabbed away sweat on her forehead. Nick dashed over to her._

"_Sara!" He breathed out. He grabbed the swab off the nurse and continued to wipe the sweat from her forehead. She let out a whimper of pain, and he leant forward and pressed his lips to hers. _

"_You're not meant to be in labor," Nick said dumbly. Sara let out a nervous laugh._

"_You think I don't know that?" _

_Nick looked desperately at the nurse who was still in the room. "Will she be okay?"_

_The nurse smiled at both of them. "It's only a week early. They'll both be fine." _

_Relieved, but not completely at ease, Nick turned back to Sara._

"_I tried to get here as soon as I could," he told her apologetically. "The strip was grid locked." _

_She smiled at him, and laced her fingers with his. "At least you're here now," she said. Suddenly, another contraction rocked her body, and her eyes squeezed shut in the pain, holding onto Nick's hand for support._

_After it had past, she let out another smaller whimper. "God this hurts. I want out."_

_Nick let out a laugh, and pressed his lips to her knuckles. "You're doing great."_

"_Yes you are," the nurse added. Nick was slightly annoyed that she was still there, but realized that she had to be. Sara's early labor required special attention, especially since it was her first child. _

"_You're about 7 cm," the nurse continued, and Sara let out a groan, causing the nurse to laugh. "Don't you worry," she said. "When you hold that baby in your arms, you'll forget all about the pain."_

_As the nurse exited the room, Sara muttered after her. "You wanna make a bet?"_

_She let out another moan. "This is all your fault, Nick!"_

_He sent her a wry look. "Oh, really?"_

_She let out a huff. "If it wasn't got you, I wouldn't… " she gestured to her stomach. Nick let out a laugh._

"_I take full responsibility."_

_She let out a small smile. _

_Nick continued to stroke Sara's hand. "Have we come to a decision with names?"_

_Over the last couple of months, they had flipped through the big book of baby names they had purchased. Not knowing the sex of the baby, they had bounced around names for both genders, but still hadn't decided on one name._

"_Jacob and Holly," Sara said. Nick smiled, before throwing in his own suggestions._

"_Shannon and Claire."_

_Sara let out a huff. "If we have a boy, we are NOT calling him Shannon!"_

"_And why not?" Nick asked. She looked at him as though he had sprouted another head._

"_It's a girls name," she complained. "They'll call him a girl!" _

_Nick didn't bother to point out the name was unisex. She was irrational. She'd been irrational all the way through her pregnancy. Although he loved the healthy glow she had obtained and the way a certain part of her anatomy had gotten larger, he couldn't wait to get the old Sara back. _

"_Well I hope we can agree by the time it comes out," Sara hissed, as another contraction rocked her body. He squeezed her hand, and when it finished, she let out a long sigh._

"_I don't want it to be named John or Jane Doe!"_

_She shouldn't have worried. 3 hours later Sara gave birth to a little girl, and as Nick watched them clean the tiny infant up, the name came to him. They had considered it early on, but had dismissed it. He didn't even know why now. The name was beautiful, just like his tiny daughter. _

"_Emily," he breathed out. An exhausted Sara blinked at him, before she broke into a tired smile. _

"_Emily," she agreed, and after a moment, she added, "Emily Shannon."_

_Nick leant forward, pressing his lips to Sara's. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered, as a few tears fell from his eyes. "You have no idea how proud of you I am."_

_She smiled into his kiss, and as they broke away, the nurse handed Sara Emily. _

_She was perfect._

_Just like Sara. _

_Sara began to stroke her daughter's face softly, and Nick pressed his lips to Sara's hair, finally asking the question he had wanted to ask for months. _

"_Marry me."_

_She began to smile, and her voice quivered as she answered. "Yes."_

* * *

He'd fallen asleep in Emily's room, Sara spooned against him. But as he awoke, he found himself alone, the space Sara had occupied now cold. He felt an odd sense of loss.

He needed to be with her.

Standing up, he quickly left Emily's room. The house was dark, but he could make out Sara, curled up on the couch. He made his way over to her. She was awake, and he sat besides her, running his hand over her side.

"Baby?" he whispered softly. Her eyes were open and glassy, and were still swollen from crying. He leant down, brushing his lips over her forehead. She let out a sob, tearing Nick's already crushed heart even more apart. God, he needed to be strong for her. She didn't need him falling apart.

He turned to look at her face, and saw a lone tear slipping down her face. He pulled her up, and wrapped his arms around her.

"It's gonna be okay," he assured her. Although he didn't know who he was trying to assure more, Sara or himself.

She shook against him, and Nick tried desperately to keep himself together.

"Shhh," he soothed, rubbing his hands over her back. "It's going to be okay," he repeated.

Suddenly, she placed her hands on his chest, and pushed him away.

"What are you basing that on?"

Nick just starred at her. "Sweetie…"

She shook her head, wiping her tears away.

"Are you basing it on the same knowledge you based Emily's recovery on? Because she _wasn't _okay, Nick!"

Her words cut through him like a knife. Her words, so full of hurt, sliced his heart. All he wanted was to make her feel better. To reassure her that, although things seemed bad now, everything would work out in the end.

He reached for her again, desperate for her touch. He was just as hurt as she was. Why was she being so harsh?

She didn't want any of it. She stood up and walked away from him, over to the kitchen counter.

He stood up and followed her.

"Just go away," she mumbled to him. He stopped in his tracks.

"Sara…" his voice choked. She turned to face him, tears streaming down her face.

"This is all your fault," she cried. Nick just starred at her, and opened his mouth.

"Why didn't you pick her up in time?" Sara asked angrily. "I asked you to pick her up, and you were late! And now she's dead!"

Nick started to shake. He already knew this, he already blamed himself. Why did she have to do this to him?

"It wasn't my fault I was late!" Nick said, his anger getting the better of him. "You know it wasn't my fault!"

"It was your fault!" Sara screamed, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Suddenly, Nick was yelling too.

"I know it was, okay," he yelled. "I already know it was my fault. And I've been blaming myself every single second of every single fucking day since she went missing! I KNOW it's my fault! I know!"

He was violently shaking now. Every single emotion he had been holding back since Emily had gone missing was unleashed.

Suddenly, Sara crumbled to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

"It's not your fault," she whimpered. But Nick just ignored her, picking his keys up from the kitchen bench.

"Where are you going?" she sobbed. Nick just shook his head, making his way to the door. As he pulled it open, he heard her cry after him.

"Don't leave me!"

He slammed the door closed, and made his way to his car. He leant against the door, furiously wiping his tears away from his face. Half of him was glad that Sara was releasing her emotions. The other half of him was angry with her for blaming him.

But he couldn't blame her for blaming him.

Sara was right once again.

It _was_ his fault.

* * *

TBC... Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the reviews I've got. It means so much to me! Please let me know what you think of this story.

* * *

Two weeks ago

_Nick unlocked his front door, pushing it open and stepping into his house. It was just past 7am, and as he stepped into his house, he could hear sounds of life coming from the kitchen and living room. Smiling, he made his way to the living area._

_Sara was in the kitchen, whipping up a batch of pancakes. Emily, now 5 years old, was seated in front of the television watching cartoons. He walked over to Sara, wrapping his arms around her waist. She leant into him._

"_How are you, beautiful?" He whispered into her ear. She let out a sigh._

"_Fine, how are you?" she asked back, concerned. He knew how much their latest case had been bothering him. _

"_Nothing a little time with my two favorite girls won't fix," he said, brushing his lips over her neck. She turned, and captured his lips with hers. They stood there kissing for a while, before Emily shouted out across the room. _

"_Daddy!"_

_Unwrapping Sara from his arms, he wandering over to his daughter, who threw her arms around his neck. He lifted her up, holding onto her tightly._

This_ was what got him through the night._

_Through the case. _

_He kissed her hair, and lowered her back onto the couch. Her big brown eyes shone up at him, and he smiled down at her._

"_How ya going, princess?" _

_She giggled. "I'm great! Mommy's making pancakes!"_

_Sara rolled her eyes. She was no cook, but Emily had begged her, and she was putty in their daughter's hands. Both Nick and her were._

_Nick walked over to Sara, grabbing the wooden spoon out of her hands._

"_I'll take over," he told her. Emily ran over, climbing onto the barstool besides the kitchen table._

"_Can I help?" she asked him. Nick smiled, and handed her the wooden spoon. She stirred with gusto, and Nick warmed up the fry pan._

_Relieved for some rest, Sara sat down on the couch, picking up the television remote and flicking the channel over. Emily and Nick chatted in the kitchen, as Sara paused on the news._

"_Las Vegas forensic services are working hard as another victim of Las Vegas's latest serial killer, "The Babysitter" was found last night. 5 year old Summer Mayer, who disappeared from her home 2 nights ago, was found dead last night by an off duty police officer. Summer is the forth victim of "The Babysitter"."_

_The whole house had gone silent, and Nick had a pained look on his face. Sara knew how much this case was affecting him. Affecting the both of them. They weren't even closer to catching the killer, and that was hurting them the most. _

"_You're going to catch him, aren't you?"_

_Emily's innocent question struck both of them. Nick stopped what he was doing, and wrapped his arms around his tiny daughter, holding her closely to him. _

"_Of course we will, princess," he assured her. Sara turned the television off. Emily didn't need to hear anymore. Although it was the biggest news in Las Vegas, and every school was on the lookout with high security plans, she didn't want to subject her to more. _

"_Why's he hurting other little girls?" Emily asked softly. Nick shook his head._

"_I dunno," he admitted. _

"_You won't let him hurt me, will you?" she asked timidly. Nick's heart almost broke. _

"_I'd never let anyone hurt you," he choked out. She snuggled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder._

"_I'll never let anyone hurt you," he repeated. "Ever."_

* * *

Nick didn't know how long he stayed out. He went to the nearest park, and despite the fact that it was 11am on a Saturday morning, the park was empty. 

People were in hiding.

Protecting their children.

Like Nick should have been doing.

Had he been so caught up in trying to protect everyone else's children that he had risked the safely of his own?

He sat down on the park bench, watching the swings swinging in the wind. He'd come here with Emily many times. Pushed her on the swings, listened to her laugh.

The swing squeaked in the wind, and Nick felt his heart squeeze painfully. He buried his face in his hands, letting the sobs overtake his body.

God, this was his fault!

What had he done to Emily?

What had he done to Sara?

He was crying uncontrollably now. He'd failed his daughter. He had told her he would protect her, that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her. He'd broken his promise to her, and to Sara.

"_I'll protect both of you, I promise."_

Suddenly, he felt someone besides him. He didn't need to look to see who it was. He knew that scent, he knew that person.

He looked up, and saw Sara. She was crying, and he pulled her down besides him, wrapping his arms around her. He kissed her hair, holding onto her desperately as she cried into his neck.

"I'm so sorry," Nick told her, kissing her head desperately. "I'm so sorry, it's my fault, I'm so sorry."

She shook her head. "It's not your fault."

Nick continued to hold her to him.

"Yes it is," he sobbed. "I told her I would protect her. I promised her that!"

Sara began to sooth him, rubbing her hands over his back.

"_I'll never let anyone hurt you," he repeated. "Ever."_

_Emily leant up and whispered in his ear. _

"_I know you won't."_

* * *

Please review! Pretty please with sugar on top with chocolate sauce and whipped cream and crushed up little pieces of nuts and a cherry on top! 


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews. They really do make me happy.

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_Sara stepped into the morgue, the door swinging closed behind her. Doc Robbin's stood near the newest body of "The Babysitter", 7 year old Casey Tripping. The morgue was cold, and Sara shivered._

_Doc Robbin's gestured to the body as Sara approached._

"_Look's exactly like my daughter when she was this age," he said softly. Sara sent him a understanding look. _

_She hated comparing the victims to Emily._

_But it was impossible not too. _

"_Come on, Doc," Sara said desperately. "This is the 5th victim… please tell me you have something!"_

_Just then the door of the morgue swung open, and Nick came in, throwing a lab coat on as he walked in._

"_What are you doing here?" Sara asked, confused. Nick stood besides her, gently squeezing her shoulders before nodding at Doc Robbins. _

"_I can't sleep," he admitted. "Not when we have a fresh one…"_

_Sara understood, and turned back to Doc Robbins._

"_It's just like the other victims, " he confirmed to them. He gestured to the little girl's body. "Beaten, starved…"_

"_Raped?" Sara asked hoarsely. Doc Robbin's nodded._

"_Repeatedly."_

_Nick hung his head, squeezing his eye's shut painfully. He took a deep breath, and resumed looking at the body._

"_It's okay," he told Doc Robbin's and Sara, who were both looking at him in concern. "It's just hard to look at her and not think about…"_

_The doctor nodded his understanding, and Sara squeezed his elbow in comfort. She would have loved to hug him, to reassure him. But they needed to keep professional. _

"_Any semen? Fibers? Hairs?" Nick asked. Doc Robbin's shook his head._

"_It's exactly like the other victims," he said again. "Nothing."_

"_How can that be!" Sara asked, her voice rising in frustration. "He keeps them for 2 days! He rapes them, beats them!" Why isn't there any evidence!"_

"_I'm sorry, Sara," Doc Robbin's said softly. She let out a sigh._

"_Cause of death?"_

"_Suffocation."_

_Nick nodded. _

_Just like the other victims._

_Why weren't they any closer to getting the killer?_

"_You might find something on the clothes," Doc Robbins said, and Nick nodded. This crime scene had been the messiest. Just because they hadn't found any evidence on the body, didn't mean they wouldn't find any on all the other things they collected._

"_Hopefully next time he'll leave us something," he added. Nick shook his head._

"_There's not going to be a next time," he said, and Sara nodded, turning walking out of the morgue._

"_I won't be coming in here again to deal with another body of this killer," she said softly. "I'm going to solve this before another little girl gets hurt."_

_Nick followed her out, leaving Doc Robbins alone. As he placed the body back into the freezer, he spoke out to the empty room._

"_I hope you're right."_

_And he closed the door, hopefully on the last little girl that would be hurt by this monster._

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this," Doc Robbin's asked once again. Nick nodded, his hands gently stroking Sara's shoulders. She was shaking, but she too nodded. 

Doc Robbin's pulled the sheet back.

Emily Stokes looked back at them.

Sara let out a long breath, before turning around and burying her face into Nick's chest. He kept her close, stroking her back.

"What happened," Nick wanted to know. Doc Robbin's gave him a clear look.

"Are you one hundred percent sure you want to know?"

Nick hesitated for a second, and then nodded his head.

"Died from suffocation," he told them. Emily's beautiful face didn't show even the slightest hint that she was dead. Her skin was pale, and that was the only indication that something was wrong.

She had been blessed with Nick's skin.

Sara turned in Nick's arms, reaching out for her daughter. She ran her fingers across Emily's cheeks, and let out a small sob.

"She was raped, wasn't she?"

Doc Robbins nodded. Taking another deep breath, Sara bent down, brushing her lips across Emily's cold forehead.

Then she left.

It felt like Nick's entire core had been ripped out as he starred at his daughter's body.

"Could, I, uh, have a moment," Nick asked hoarsely. The doctor looked like he was going to refuse, but thought better of it. He moved out of the room, hobbling away, closing the door behind him.

Nick's gaze returned to his daughter's body. He moved his finger's to her face, gently stroking the skin there.

She was so cold.

"I'm so sorry, princess," Nick said, feeling his voice choke up. "I failed you."

He half expected that she would stand up, and give him a hug, and tell him that she loved him. But she didn't. Just lay there in the cold morgue.

"You were one of the best things that happened to me," Nick told her. "You are your Mom. I don't know what I would have done without you two. You were my world."

A few tears fell from his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away.

Even now, he hated to show weakness in front of her.

She'd always seen him as a hero.

_A bright-eyed Emily starred up at him. "You help people, don't you Daddy?"_

"_You betcha, kiddo."_

_She reached up for him. "You're my hero, Daddy. I want to help people too!"_

"I love you so much," he whispered. "So much. I don't think I can even describe how much I love you."

He stroked her curls, running his fingers through the soft strands.

"Your Mom loved you too." He added. "You were her whole world. Even I took second place next to you. She loved you so much. You were such a good kid."

Without even realizing it, he reached down and pulled Emily's lifeless body up to him, cradling her head against his chest. He knew he shouldn't have. He knew it was against protocol.

But he needed to hold his little girl…

Just one more time

Her chest was littered with bruises, ones he hadn't seen when the white sheet had been up.

_What had the bastard done to his daughter?_

He pressed his lips to her hair, letting his tears fall into her hair.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed out. "If I had worked harder, I could have caught him before he hurt you. I'll never forgive myself for what happened."

"Nick!"

Grissom's voice sounded behind him and Nick immediately lowered Emily back, placing her back down onto the table, and covering her chest up again.

"What are you doing here Nick?"

He ignored his question, and quickly turned away from his daughter. Walking up to Grissom, he spoke again.

"You better catch this guy, Grissom" Nick said sadly. With a glance back towards Emily, he walked out of the morgue.

"Make him pay for what he did to my little princess."

* * *

Please review. Every little review counts! 


	7. Chapter 7

**A\N: **Thanks so much for the continuing support! THANK YOU!!!

Here is the chapter where you begin to see how everything happened! Enjoy!!

_

* * *

The ringing of the phone woke Nick from his sleep. Grumbling, he sat up and reached for it, flipping it open._

"_Stokes."_

"_Nick, its Sara."_

_Nick smiled. "Hey sweetie."_

"_Hey. Look, I'm running late at work. I think we have a lead."_

_Nick was awake now, and he jumped out of bed. "You do?"_

"_Yeah!" She sounded tired, but relieved. Nick moved around the room, pulling a pair of pants out of the draw._

"_Do you need me to come in?" he asked._

"_No, no," Sara said quickly. "I just need you to pick up Emily from ballet."_

"_No problem," Nick said. "It finishes at 4, right?"_

"_Yeah. But try and get there a bit before. The community center gets locked up as soon as her lesson finishes… and I don't want Emily to have to wait… the teacher…"_

_She trailed off. "It's okay," Nick assured her. "I'll be there before, I promise."_

_Flipping the phone closed, he glanced at his watch. It was 3.30. He got dressed quickly, and made his way out to his car. He would leave straight away. _

_To be honest, he hadn't wanted Emily to do ballet. Not at this present time anyway. Not while "The Babysitter" was still at large. But at the same time, he didn't want her to be reclusive. They had to live their lives. They just had to be extra cautious._

_He pulled out of his street and headed off towards the community hall across town. He had half an hour. Plenty of time. It was only a 15-minute drive._

_He found himself humming as he drove along. Switching on the radio, he turned to the country channel. _

"_It was Christmas is Las Vegas…"_

_A feeling of dread settled at the bottom on Nick's stomach, and he quickly turned the radio off. He hadn't heard that song since his kidnapping…_

_He shivered subconsciously. One of his all time favorite songs had become a symbol to the bad thing that had happened to Nick. _

_He continued to drive, and he was making good time._

_Until the crash._

_He couldn't help it that that was the road he had taken. The car ahead had just smashed, the engine were blowing smoke and someone was stumbling from the car. _

_Nick was a good guy._

_And he was the first at the scene._

_He stopped his car, rushing over to the woman who had managed to escape. She was bleeding, and when she saw Nick, she crumpled to the ground. _

_He felt besides the woman, grabbing his phone, and calling 911. After giving them the location, he turned back to the woman, who shooed him off, and gestured over to the car, and that's when Nick noticed another person in the car._

_He ran over there, grabbing the woman's wrist through the broken window. Nick's heart sunk when he didn't feel one._

_He turned back around, trying to soothe the woman. After a few minutes, a police car screeched to a halt, followed quickly by an ambulance._

_A police officer rushed towards Nick. _

"_The other girl didn't make it," Nick said solemnly. _

_Unfortunately, the other woman heard, and let out a scream of shock, trying to escape the grasp of the paramedics. _

"_My daughter," she sobbed. _

_Suddenly, Nick's blood ran cold._

_Emily!_

_He glanced at his watch._

_4.03 PM_

_He sprinted to his car, his heart beating so fast in his chest he couldn't distinguish it from his footsteps. _

_Putting the car into reverse, he sped off, dodging the traffic and pedestrians, and arriving outside the community center in record time._

_It was deserted and locked up for the day. _

_Panic started to set it, and he jumped out of his car, running towards the hall._

"_EMILY!" he yelled. "EMILY!"_

_Why hadn't the teacher waited? He knew she had another appointment, but why would she leave a 5-year-old girl by herself? What about the other parents?_

_With a sad heart, he remembered most had pulled their daughters out of ballet._

_And he had foolishly let Emily continue._

_Nick started to run around the building, calling out Emily's name desperately, his voice sounding hoarse in his throat _

"_Oh God…"_

_Pulling out his phone, he called the police._

_It only took a moment for them to arrive._

_The same for the CSI's_

_Nick stood around the police officers, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't speak. _

_And that's when he saw Sara._

_She was walking towards the community center with Grissom, and when she saw him, standing with the police officers, she knew._

_Her kit fell from her hands, her throat constricting. Grissom immediately caught her, his own kit cluttering to the ground as he struggled to keep Sara from falling. Her eyes were wide, and her gaze never left Nick._

_Nick had rushed to her, and she started to shake her head._

"_No," she whispered. "No, no…"_

_She was talking quickly now, and Nick drew her into his arms. _

"_No, no, no, no, no. It's a mistake." Sara breathed out, rocking in Nick's arms._

_Nick held onto her desperately, only speaking the words that were running through his mind._

"_I'm so sorry."_

* * *

The church was crowded, people dressed in black seated like school children, in perfect rows in the church pews. 

Sara sat in the front with Nick. She was dressed in a simple black dress, her hair lying loose around her shoulders. Nick sat besides her, holding onto her hand tightly. Her gaze was focused on the ground.

Not at the tiny casket at the front of the church

He couldn't look at it either.

You were meant to buy your child a new doll, or a new dress.

Not a coffin

A tiny pair of ballet shoe's adorned the front of the coffin, a homage to what Emily loved the most. It always had irked Sara that her daughter was a girly girl, but she still had embraced her.

"_No daughter of mine is going to be a girly girl!" Sara had huffed. Nick had laughed. _

_The next day, despite her words, Sara had signed Emily up for ballet, to the little girl's delight. _

The service was pleasant. Sara hadn't cried. Neither had Nick.

They spent every other second of every day crying.

As the service ended, people came and offered their condolences. Nick stayed by Sara's side, afraid that she would break down.

There were a select few that were allowed at the cemetery. Catherine was supporting Lindsey. Grissom was standing further away from everyone. Warrick was supporting Catherine.

Nick tried to support Sara.

But he himself broke down upon reading the tombstone.

Emily Shannon Stokes 

_10.4.2001 – 12.9.2006_

_Much loved daughter for too brief a moment_

Suddenly a voice spoke from behind them.

"I'm so sorry."

Every one turned and saw a woman before them.

Emily's young ballet teacher

Nick wanted to blame her. He wanted to blame someone so badly. But blaming the 28-year-old dance teacher wasn't going to help. She'd already blamed herself. Apologized. Tried to help as much as she could.

"I saw her get into her Mom's car! It was your car! Emily just got in! I thought it was her Mom! It was the same car…"

"_I didn't know… I'm so sorry!"_

He shook his head, trying to give her a small smile.

Sara however, wasn't as kind.

She walked up to the woman.

"Sorry," she said bitterly, "Is not going to bring my daughter back."

She brushed past her, down the sleek lawn of the cemetery. Nick grabbed her arm, trying to pull her back, but she shrugged it off.

"Just leave me alone," she muttered.

"Sara," Nick called weakly. But she ignored him, continuing her walk across the lawn.

Catherine appeared by Nick's side, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay." She assured him.

Sara's words echoed in his mind as he shrugged her hand off his shoulder.

What was she basing that on? 

Because as Nick stood by his daughter's grave and watched his wife walk away from him, he realized nothing would be okay anymore.

* * *

TBC...

Please review!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews. To the anonymous reviwers:**

**MollyMKS:** Thanks so much for the review. Glad you are enjoying it despite its obvious sadness.

**heather:** Wow, you just smaked me in the face with compliments! Thank you so much! I appriciate it muchly!

**thegreatbluespoon:** lol, it is quite depressing, and this chapter is even more so. Be warned!

**Lindsey:** So glad you loved it! Thanks for reviewing!

And now... on with the chapter...

_

* * *

The house was silent._

_The only sound was coming from the clock in the kitchen._

"_How long has it been?"_

_Sara's hoarse voice rung out through out the room from where she was curled up on the couch. Nick sat in the kitchen on the barstool, head resting in his hands._

"_4 hours, 12 minutes… 34 seconds."_

_Sara sniffled, and Nick stood up, walking over to his wife, and wrapping his arms around her. She fell against his chest, taking comfort in his strong heartbeat._

"_She's going to be alright," Nick whispered to her. She nodded, snuggling up closer to him. _

_She wanted to believe what he was saying._

_Nick had never lied to her before._

_Why would he lie now?_

_Suddenly, Nick's phone began ringing._

"_Must be Grissom," Sara whispered. Nick grabbed his phone off the table, not bothering to check the caller ID._

"_Stokes," Nick said desperately._

"_Daddy…"_

_Nick's heart did a double take. "Emily?"_

_He could hear her crying, and it was breaking his heart. Sara looked at him, eyes wide._

"_Emily, sweetheart," he said, standing up. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest, "Where are you?"_

"_I don't know," she cried softly. "I'm scared."_

"_It's okay," he told her. He gestured over to Sara, who looked so shocked. _

"_We have to get to the lab," Nick called out to Sara._

_He grabbed his jacket off the back of the couch. Sara followed him as he ran from the house. She jumped into the front of the car, and he got into the passenger side._

"_I need you to hold on, sweetie," Nick said, as Sara drove out of the driveway and started speeding towards the lab._

"_Are you alone," he asked her. She sniffled._

"_Yes."_

_Nick finally spoke the question he had wanted to know. "Has he hurt you, baby?"_

"_He hit me."_

_Her voice was so tiny, and Nick pressed the phone tighter to his ear._

"_Just stay with me," he said desperately. They were about 5 minutes from the lab. If they got there, they could trace the call from Emily's mobile._

_He had completely forgotten about her mobile. And so he should have. They had only bought her the phone the other day, as an extra safety precaution, although he didn't like the idea of his 5-year-old owning a mobile. He had put both his and Sara's mobile into speed dial, and told her she could only use it for emergencies. He'd hoped she would never need it._

_Now, he was thanking Sara so much in his head for pressing the issue._

"_I thought it was Mommy's car," Emily sobbed. "I'm sorry."_

"_You have nothing to be sorry for," Nick told her. Sara pulled into the lab, screeching the brakes on just in time. The sprinted through the lab, passing many concerned faces, before finally reaching Archie._

"_Nick, Sara," he said compassionately. _

"_I need you to trace this!" Nick said desperately. "It's Emily!"_

_Archie sensed the emergency, and quickly connected the phone._

"_Em? You still there?" He asked her. She sniffled. _

_Sara's face was pale, and with a shaking hand, she asked for the phone._

_Nick handed it over reluctantly, as Archie typed furiously on his computer._

"_Emily? Sweetheart? It's Mommy." _

"_Mommy…" _

_Sara felt herself crumble, and she grabbed onto the back of Archie's chair to steady herself._

"_We're going to come and find you, okay?" Sara told her. _

"_I want to go home."_

"_I know you do," Sara whispered. "I'm sorry baby."_

_Emily began to cry again. "I love you."_

"_I love you too," Sara told her. _

_Suddenly Emily grew quiet. _

"_Emily?" Sara asked._

"_He's… coming."_

_Sara's eyes snapped shut. "For Gods sake, Archie, how long is this going to take?"_

_He continued to type furiously. "Give me a few more minutes okay? Make sure she doesn't disconnect?"_

"_I need you to hold on," Sara told her. "Can you hide the phone from him?"_

"_I want to talk to you!"_

_How could she deny her daughter that?_

"_I know you do," Sara choked out. "But you need to hide the phone."_

"_No!"_

_Suddenly, Sara heard a door open, the locks unlocking. _

"_Oh God…" Sara whimpered. Nick looked up from where he was starring at the ground._

_Emily let out a scream, and Sara let out a sob._

"_You little bitch!"_

_Sara heard her daughter scream again._

"_EMILY!" Sara screamed. _

"_Who the fuck is this?" _

_A man's voice came through the phone. It was rough, and hoarse, and Sara shivered._

"_Don't you dare touch her!" Sara screamed. "Don't you dare!"_

_The man let out a laugh, and Sara clutched at her hair. Nick, looking desperate, turned back to Archie. _

"_Just a few more seconds," Archie whispered. _

"_Please don't hurt her," Sara pleaded. "Please…"_

_She heard the phone being flung onto the hard ground, and her daughter's screams become steady sobs. _

"_Don't touch me!" _

_Emily's voice sounded far away, and Sara began to hyperventilate. _

_That son of a bitch was touching her daughter._

_She pressed the phone desperately to her ear._

"_Mommy!"_

_The man began to grunt and moan, and that's when Sara lost it._

"_HURRY UP!" She screamed at Archie. Nick grabbed the phone off her, pressing it to his own ear, before he went pale._

"_Got it," Archie said quickly, his hands shaking as he pulled the printed sheet out of the printer. _

"_13 Industrial Way, West Las Vegas."_

_3 squad cars as well as 2 CSI Tahoe's sped towards the location. Nick and Sara sat in the back as Catherine drove one of the cars. Nick held a still trembling Sara._

_She couldn't forget what she had heard_

_They pulled out outside the address. A old abandoned house sat there. Police officers piled out of the cars and surrounded the house, kicking open the door._

_Nick and Sara waited outside, Catherine and Grissom going inside the house. _

_They waited._

_And waited._

_Catherine stepped outside the house, evidence bags in her hands._

_Emily's mobile phone_

_Nick's heart rose. _

"_Where is she?" Sara asked desperately, her face stained with tears. Catherine shook her head._

"_She wasn't there."_

_Catherine's own voice was quivering as she spoke the next words._

"_We know she was there, though…"_

_She held up the second evidence bag._

_Emily's ballet leotard_

_Ripped._

_Torn._

_Destroyed._

_Sara collapsed against Nick, sobbing uncontrollably. Nick held her to her, completely numb._

_Desperately clinging to his wife._

_Holding her._

_Wishing he could hold his daughter too._

* * *

Nick could barely remember the next few days after Emily's funeral. It was nothing but a blur. He and Sara still hadn't gone back to work, and even though he knew things had to go on, he couldn't bring himself to go to work. 

He was broken inside.

More than anything, he needed Sara.

Oh, she was there.

But she wasn't _there._

She hadn't spoken a word to him since Emily's funeral, and that had hurt him.

He hurt because she had withdrawn from him when he needed her the most.

He was hurting badly.

And he needed her.

But she wouldn't let him.

That's what made him go out and buy the beer.

He got home. The house was silent and dark, the sun just setting.

Sara was probably in bed.

He placed the beer down on the coffee table, opening a bottle and reveling in the fizz of the carbonated liquid.

He took one sip, then another.

Then sculled the entire bottle.

He leant the back of his head down on the couch as he opened another bottle.

_He needed Sara…_

_Why didn't she understand that he was hurting too?_

He'd drunk half of the 6 pack of beer he had bought before he finally let it out, sobbing in the empty living room.

He stood up and stumbled to his bedroom. Sara was curled up on her side, eyes wide.

"Nicky?" she breathed softly. He fell down onto the bed, bringing his hand up to cup her neck. Pulling her to him, he pressed his lips against hers. She pulled back a bit, away from the smell of his breath, but Nick had had enough of her pulling away from him.

He forced his tongue deeper into her mouth, and she let out a tiny whimper. He let his lips slide down to her neck, suckling on the flesh there.

God, she tasted good.

He hadn't tasted her for so long.

And right now, he needed her more than ever. To forget just for one night that there lives were ruined, to remind her that they still had each other.

He moved to lie on top of her, and at first, she responded almost as desperately as he was, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

Maybe they both needed this.

He pulled away from her for a second. She was crying again, her brown eyes moist.

"Please don't cry, baby," he whispered, bringing himself back down to her lips again, putting every feeling he was feeling into the kiss.

He undressed her slowly, taking time to taste her skin.

"I love you so much," he purred to her. She whimpered again, and all of a sudden, he needed her then.

He needed to be with the woman he loved.

He kissed her again, and began to lower himself into her.

But then she pulled away, her hands pushing against his chest.

"I cant!"

Nick stopped, feeling his heart beating his chest as he watched his wife pull away from him.

He brought his hand up to caress her cheek, but she shook her head.

"Sara…" he said softly, desperately.

"I can't do this," she breathed. "Not when that… monster… did that to Emily."

Nick's heart stopped, and at one he was filled with remorse, grief, hurt… and anger.

"For God's sake, Sara!" Nick said, pushing himself away from her. "Rape isn't about sex, you know that!"

She continued to shake her head, curling herself up into a ball, turning away from him.

"Please Nick," she sobbed.

"I need you…" he choked out. "I can't keep on going without you… please stop shutting me out, sweetheart…"

When she didn't turn around, he stood up, slipping his boxer shorts on, trying to keep himself from breaking down. He turned around, tucking the blankets around Sara's shivering form, kissing her on the forehead.

She pulled away again.

"How many times do you want to break my heart, Sara?" Nick asked miserably. "I'm hurting too…"

"I dont need you..."

Those four words cut his heart, and he replyed back spitefully, pulling on clothes before he walked out the door, shaking with anger and hurt.

"Well I dont need you either!"

And as he stumbled out the front door, he realised it was the biggest lie he had ever told.

* * *

Please review! Pretty pretty please

TBC...


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Thanks so much for all the reviews.

* * *

_When he and Sara had married, he had tried to get rid of her police scanner. He told her they didn't need it, that she had him now. But he had always shaken her head, no. The police scanner had to stay, she had said._

_Now, banned from the lab, Nick sat in front of it, desperately listening for any sign that the police had found his daughter alive._

_Sara was curled up at his side, sleeping for the first time in 2 days. He stroked her hair and stared at the police scanner._

_Sara whimpered in her sleep, and Nick drew her closer, pressing his lips against her hair._

_He loved this woman so much._

_He felt so utterly helpless in this cause. He wanted so badly to make things right again. To make things right for Sara, too._

_To make things right for Emily_

_What had he done that was so bad? What had he done that was so bad that would result in his only child being kidnapped? He always thought he'd been a good guy. Yet he had been stalked, buried alive…_

_His daughter taken from him._

_Suddenly, voices began to crackle through the police scanner._

_"419 57 Industrial Way West Las Vegas.."_

_Nick sat up. It couldn't be a coincidence could it? That there was a murder on the exact same road his daughter's cell phone had been found._

_Sara had awoken, rubbing her eyes, and when she glanced at Nick's eyes, she began to whimper._

_"Nick?" She questioned. He stood up, pulling her to his feet._

_"You coming?" he asked her urgently. She nodded, and they both sprinted from the house, jumping into the car._

_No words were spoken as they drove to the scene. They saw police cars ahead of them, their lights flashing in the dark night._

_Nick grabbed Sara's hand, the other one of the wheel, squeezing it supportably. She was trembling._

_They saw the crime scene before they reached it, and pulled up just before it, knowing quite well that they couldn't park closer._

_Nick sprinted ahead of Sara, who was shaking so hard she couldn't stand. Right now Nick didn't care. He needed to know, so he ran ahead._

_He ducked under the crime scene tape before anyone could stop him. He saw Grissom up ahead, and called out as he reached him._

_"Let me in there." Grissom gently pushed him back._

_"You need to go," Grissom told him forcefully. Nick just shook his head, standing his ground._

_"Just tell me," he muttered angrily. "Just tell me if it's her…"_

_Grissom just shut his eyes, but that was all Nick needed. He felt his heart crumble, and a part of him disappeared._

_"Oh God…"_

_Grissom immediately grabbed Nick's shoulder to keep him from collapsing, as the younger man grabbed his head in grief._

_"Are you sure?" He asked. "It might be someone else."_

_Maybe it wasn't Emily. Maybe it was someone else. Maybe, just maybe…_

_But Grissom nodded. "I'm sorry…"_

_Nick just shook his head, not believing him. "I need to see the body."_

_"You know I can't do that Nick," Grissom said regretfully. "The crime scene is fresh…"_

_Nick shoved Grissom's hand off his shoulder. "How about, just for once, you stuff the crime scene!"_

_"Nick!"_

_Sara's voice startled him from behind, and they turned. He didn't want her to know._

_He knew it would destroy her._

_"Is it her?"_

_Her voice sounded almost business like, slightly quivering with emotion. Nerves and hope. But as soon as Nick nodded his head, she crumbled._

_Nick gathered Sara up into his arms, falling together onto the ground. He was breathing hard, trying desperately to keep himself together. He wanted so badly for this to be some kind of sick joke. That Emily would run out of the warehouse into their arms._

_That everything would be okay again._

* * *

He came back a few hours later. He couldn't stand fighting with Sara. She was his whole life. He loved her with every fiber of his being.

And he knew she didn't mean what she had said.

He slid his key into the lock, pushing the door open.

The house was silent.

Shutting the door behind him, he called out for Sara.

He got no response.

"Sara, sweetheart," Nick called out softly. "Where are you?"

He checked everywhere, including Emily's bedroom, but he couldn't find her. Worried, he tried to call her, but got her voice mail.

Then he saw the note on the fridge.

With fumbling fingers, he opened it.

Nicky,

I think we need some time apart. I can't stop hurting, and I know I'm hurting you more in the process. I love you Nicky, but I can't deal with this right now. I need to go away for a while. Please don't come after me. You are better off without me. I don't want to hurt you again, and I can't be the wife you want me to be anymore.

I love you.

Sara

Nick dropped the note, shaking uncontrollably. How could she do this to him? How could she just pack up and leave him?

Didn't she realize that by leaving him, she was hurting him more?

He needed her so badly.

Picking up the phone, he called her again. He got the voice mail.

"Sara," Nick said desperately. "Please come home, baby. I need you here. I love you. Don't leave…please…pick up?"

Sara listened to the message, sitting in her car at a gas station outside of Las Vegas. Tears were streaming down her face.

"I'm doing this for you, Nick," she whispered, her hand coming to rest on her stomach, stroking it through the thin material of her T-shirt.

_"You're going to have a wonderful Mom," Nick said, his lips still pressed against Sara's soft belly._

"I don't want to hurt you again."

* * *

TBC... 


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Sorry for taking so long to update. I was grounded for a while, and then it wouldnt let me update. But here it is FINALLY!

Thanks so much for all the reviews. Keep 'em comin!

* * *

That night, Nick went to work.

As soon as he stepped into the lab, he regretted it.

People gave him sympathetic looks, or avoided him all together.

So he sought refuge in the locker room.

It was empty, thankfully, so Nick sat down on the bench, just staring ahead into nothingness.

He had officially lost everything except his job. He'd lost his daughter, and his wife, his life, had left him. Taking his heart with her.

That's why he had come to work. Because it was the only thing he had left.

Plus, he couldn't sit at home. Constant reminders of his daughter and Sara were there.

Why had she left him?

He needed her so badly.

He pulled out his phone again, and called Sara's number. He got voice mail for the 34th time. Slamming his phone shut, he hurled it across the room, smashing it against the wall, grabbing his own head in grief.

"Nick?"

Warrick's voice startled him, and he glanced up to see him standing there, holding what was left of Nick's phone in his hands.

"You okay?" Warrick asked. The question was rhetorical, really. Warrick knew Nick wasn't okay. He sat besides Nick, glancing at him questioningly. He was surprised Nick was back at work so soon. He didn't expect him for another week.

Nick just shook his head. "I don't even know what I'm doing here," he admitted.

"Then go home," Warrick said simply. "Go home to Sara. You need to be together."

At his words, Nick hung his head. "I know," he whispered. "It's hard though, because she's not there."

Warrick hung his head too. He had loved Emily with all of his heart. It was still killing him inside, and the fact that they weren't any closer to finding the killer was hurting him more. The least he could do for her was find the man who had hurt her, and he couldn't even do that.

He couldn't even imagine how bad Nick was feeling.

But at that moment, Nick needed to be home with his wife.

"I think you should go home to Sara," Warrick repeated. They needed to do this together.

Nick looked at him as though he were crazy. "I already told you she wasn't there."

Warrick looked at him, confused. "I thought you meant…Emily?"

"Sara…" Nick croaked out, and Warrick felt his confusion heighten.

"Where's Sara?" Warrick questioned. Nick just shrugged.

"I don't know," he said hoarsely. "She just… left me."

Warrick closed his eyes in shock, taking a deep breath to steady himself. Sara had left Nick? How could that be? Sara loved Nick with all her heart, and Nick had loved Sara more than anything.

Maybe except for Emily.

"I need her," Nick mumbled. "I can't loose her _and _Emily."

Warrick had no idea how to comfort Nick. Nick had lost his whole family. His whole world.

"Nick… I…" Warrick trailed off as Nick stood up, and without a word to Warrick, left the room.

* * *

Sara couldn't sleep. It wasn't the cheap Motel 6 beds, or that the people in the room next to her were very loudly expressing their love for each other, it was the fact that Nick wasn't with her.

For the millionth time she wondered whether she was doing the right thing. She loved Nick so much. She loved him so much, that she didn't want him to hurt anymore.

It was her fault Emily was dead. She was a terrible mother, and because of that, Nick had lost his daughter.

She couldn't do that to him again.

She rolled over, her hand coming to rest on her abdomen. At 3 months along, she was barely showing, but she could feel the presence of her second child.

Her and Nick's second child.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about what she was doing to Nick. He would be so excited that she was pregnant again. He would be over the moon. And she was taking that away from him.

Her phone vibrated besides her, and she glanced at it, thinking it would be Nick. She was surprised to find Catherine's name flashing up at her.

She and Catherine had grown a lot closer of the years, ever since she had told her she was pregnant. It had been nice to have a woman to help her through it, especially one who had already experienced what Sara was going to go through.

She grabbed her phone, staring at the caller ID, wondering whether she should answer it.

But she needed to tell someone what was happening, and if she couldn't tell Nick, she would tell Catherine.

"Hey," she croaked out, flipping her phone open.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Catherine's voice screeched at her at the other end. Sara swallowed miserably.

"Cath…"

"Just, don't," Catherine said, more calmly than before. "Warrick told me what happened. He heard off Nick. How could you do that to him?"

"I didn't want to," Sara whimpered. Catherine sighed.

"Why don't you come home," she suggested, hoping to coax the brunette into seeing Nick again.

"I cant," Sara whispered. "I don't want to hurt him again."

"What happened with Emily was not your fault, Sara," Catherine told her, her voice taking on a more solemn, sympathetic tone.

"What if it happens again?" Sara asked softly. "I just don't want it to happen again. It would kill him."

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Catherine whispered. Sara gasped. How could Catherine just guess.

"How did you…"

"It wasn't hard, Sara," Catherine told her. "I could tell a while ago. The symptoms were all there. Nick doesn't know, does he?"

Sara swallowed. "No."

"But Sara," Catherine argued. "This is exactly what the two of you need. This could be a new start, a new chance for the both of you. Nick would be so happy."

"You can't tell him," Sara panicked.

Catherine sighed. "I wont. But I think you need to."

"I cant," croaked Sara. "What if something happens, what if something happens to the baby, like what happened to Emily? I couldn't do that to Nick again. He needs to live again."

"You cant live for long without your heart, Sara," Catherine told her, and hung up, leaving Sara crying alone in her motel room.

* * *

Review Review Review!

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Oh my, updating both stories in one night. Go Me! Well actually, i cant take all the credit. Many, many MANY thanks to **Mma63** who gave me some kick ass ideas that booted me way out of the writers block that was my mind. Many thanks, and much love!

Anyway, thanks to all who reviewed, and for your continued support! Muchly appriciated!

Now... on with ye olde chapter!

* * *

The call came in just after 7pm. The call no one wanted to happen. The call everyone at the Las Vegas Crime Lab dreaded.

Another little girl had been snatched.

It was unexpected. The 'Babysitter' hadn't struck again for weeks, leaving officials hoping he wouldn't strike again. But they had hoped too soon. Little Monica Banks had gone missing from her backyard, while her mother had popped inside for a minute to get some tang.

Grissom and Warrick attended the scene, looks of pure dread on their faces, remembering the last time they had been called out to deal with this sort of crime. They were the only two who could attend. Greg had gone quiet as soon as Grissom informed them what had happened. Catherine had fled home to Lindsey.

Nick had just sat there. Saying nothing. Doing nothing.

It was pure agony for him.

Ms. Melanie Banks stood in her living room, devoid of any sort of readable emotion. Her arms were crossed, and she was starring outside as Grissom and Warrick scaled her backyard for any sort of clue to the whereabouts of her daughter.

Brass stood in front of her, asking questions she didn't even realize she was answering. Did she have an enemy's? What had they been doing beforehand? Why had she gone inside? How long had she been inside before she realized Monica was missing? Had she noticed anyone acting strange around her house? A voice she barely recognized as her own answered him back. All she could think about was her daughter, and what was probably happening to her.

"Detective Brass?" Melanie asked softly, asking the question that had been plaguing her mind since her daughter's disappearance. "He has my baby, doesn't he?"

Brass didn't even have to clarify who 'he' was. Everyone is Las Vegas knew about "The Babysitter".

Brass nodded, his mouth formed in a tight line. "We assume so, yes."

Melanie took a deep breath, her perfectly manicured hand coming up to rest over her mouth, trying to stifle the soft gasp of horror that escaped from her mouth.

"This cant be happening," she whispered. "This… just cant be happening?"

Before Brass could reply, she burst out. "What the hell are you doing just standing there? GO OUT AND FIND MY DAUGHTER!"

Brass held up his hands. "We're doing everything we can, Ms. Banks. I just need you to calm down."

"DID YOU JUST TELL ME TO CALM DOWN?" she yelled, her body trembling. "YOUR DAUGHTER ISNT THE ONE WHOS BEEN KIDNAPPED!"

She collapsed onto the couch, her body shaking so hard she couldn't even hold herself up. Grissom and Warrick slipped back into the room, just as Brass had seated himself besides the hysterical woman. Brass looked up, and saw Grissom shake his head slightly, his entire body ridged.

They had nothing.

* * *

Nick Stokes was angry. In fact, the word anger couldn't even describe how he felt. He was fuming. 

'He' had taken another child. That rotten excuse had taken another little girl. He was going to do to this little girl exactly what he had done to Emily.

Grissom had told him straight off that Nick was hands off. How could Nick be hand off? The same man who had brutally raped and murdered his own daughter was doing the same to another, and he couldn't do anything about it?

He was going out of his mind.

He couldn't deal with this anymore.

No matter what Grissom said, he wasn't going to sit by and let this happen again. No way in hell.

Grissom and Warrick had returned to the lab an hour ago. With nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a hair or fiber.

This guy was too good.

He sat in the locker room, his head resting against his locker. His mind was empty, but at the same time, it was buzzing.

Things hadn't been the same since Sara had left almost two weeks ago. She hadn't called him despite the fact he had called her countless times. He had no idea where she was. And it was killing him. He _needed _her.

It was driving him insane.

He couldn't change what had happened to Emily. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't turn back time. He couldn't blame himself anymore. He couldn't change that Sara had left. He could wish that she would come back, wish that when he got home, he'd find her curled up in his bed, but wishing wouldn't bring Sara back.

But he could change what had happened to Monica Banks. He _would _change what happened to her. Even if it took all his time, his entire mind, and everything he had, he would do what he hadn't done for Emily.

Save her.

* * *

Catherine pressed the stop button on the DVD remote, and tossed a glance in her daughter's direction. As soon as the call had come in, she'd come home to her teenage daughter, and hugged her for half an hour straight, without letting go. She and Lindsay hadn't really been on talking terms lately. But ever since Emily's death, Catherine had made an effort to spend more and more time with her. She could never imagine losing Lindsay. She saw how torn up Nick was, and knew Nick would never be the same. 

She couldn't let that happen to herself. Her daughter was all she really had left. Her personal life was non existent, really, her job taking up enough time as it is.

She needed Lindsay.

Lindsay was asleep now, curled up on the other side of the couch. It was nearly 10pm, and normally Catherine would have been at work. But Grissom understood.

Tapping Lindsay's shoulder, Catherine stood up as her daughter let out a yawn.

"Wassa tiime…?"

"Time for bed?" Catherine suggested. Lindsay stood up, and meandered off to her bedroom, bidding her mother goodnight.

"Night, sweetheart," Catherine called out. She flopped down on the couch again, letting out a long sigh.

Just as the doorbell rung.

Confused, she got up. Who would be coming to see her? Wouldn't be Grissom. He'd ring. Maybe Nick? Needing a friend? God, he needed one more than ever.

She moved over to the door, and leant up to the eyepiece that allowed her to see who was waiting outside. She let out a soft gasp of surprise, and pulled the door open.

To find Sara Sidle on her doorstep, suitcase at her feet, and tears running down her pale cheeks.

* * *

OH MY! LETS GET SILLY AND REVIEW!!! 

(excuse me, I'm a freak) :P


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **THANKS TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED!!!!

* * *

Catherine immediately pulled Sara inside, grabbing Sara's bag with her other hand as she closed the door. Placing it next to the door, she turned back towards the brunette. Sara was trembling, and her eyes were swollen and red. Catherine gaze swept her body, and she noticed that Sara's stomach had a slight bulge. She really was pregnant.

"He's back, isn't he?"

Sara finally spoke, and her voice was shaking. Timid. Vulnerable. Sara was scared.

Catherine nodded slowly, and Sara herself nodded. There was silence again for a while, before she spoke again.

"How… how is Nick?"

Catherine gestured towards the couch, and Sara gratefully took a seat. Catherine joined her, offering her a drink, which she politely refused.

"So?" Sara asked again. Catherine let out a long sigh. Should she tell Sara the truth? That Nick was suffering without her?

"Honestly, Sara," Catherine started. "Nick hasn't been the same since you left. You took a part of him when you went. You needed each other so badly, and you just left him. How do you think he is?"

Sara's eyes were wet, and Catherine could tell that Sara was hurting. Really hurting. She reached an arm out, and patted her on the shoulder.

"There's also the latest kidnapping…" Catherine added, and slowly trailed off. Sara eye's widened at the mention of it, and her hands twitched in her lap. "That's bound to hurt him some more…"

Sara nodded, and one of her hands came to rest on her stomach. Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"So why are you back?"

Sara looked at her again. "I just… I don't know."

"You going to see Nick?" Catherine questioned. Sara looked away.

"I don't know if I can."

"Why not?"

Catherine voice was soothing. She didn't want Sara to become defensive. That was the last thing she wanted.

"I don't want to hurt him again…"

Catherine gave her a small smile. "Sara, you are hurting him more by staying away from him. Plus…" She gestured at the brunettes stomach. "He'd be so over the moon about your pregnancy… this is exactly what the both of you need."

Sara's eyes flashed angrily. "She can't be replaced."

"Who?" Catherine asked innocently, despite the fact she knew exactly who Sara was talking about.

"Emily…"

Catherine leaned forwards again, looking deeper into Sara's eyes.

"Sara, I guarantee they'll be tough times…" she whispered. "And I guarantee that at one time or another, you and Nick will want out. But I also guarantee that if you don't fix this now… you are going to regret it for the rest of your life."

A few tears leaked out of Sara's eyes, and for a minute, Catherine thought she had gotten through to her. But after that minute, Sara's eyes hardened.

"Maybe it was a mistake coming back here," she mumbled. "Maybe I should just leave."

"No!" Catherine said. She wanted Sara to stay. The longer she stayed, the more Catherine could change her mind. Set her straight. Make her go back to Nick.

"It's alright," She told Sara. "You can stay here."

Sara finally smiled. Not her full 1000-watt smile she usually possessed, but a smile non-the less. It was a start, at least.

"Thanks…"

Sara stood up. "You can't tell Nick," she said. Catherine nodded reluctantly.

"I promise."

* * *

The layout room was empty except for Nick and the box of evidence from the 'Babysitter' case. It had been 2 hours since he had sat down with it, and he still hadn't found anything. Not that he was surprised. So many people had been through the case file, and they had not found any leads.

Nick just wanted to make sure they hadn't overlooked anything. _Anything._

His hands stilled on Emily's file. He wasn't supposed to look at this file, and his hands trembled slightly as his fingers traced Emily's name.

Just because he couldn't look at the file, didn't mean he couldn't use things from it.

The dance teacher had seen the Babysitter. Well, not the actual killer, but the killers car. Of course it had been followed up, but nothing had come from it. Sara's car was not uncommon. There were over 100 registered in the greater Las Vegas Area.

_The traffic camera's! Nick suddenly thought. They had played a small part in his own rescue. Maybe, just maybe, a car similar to the description the dance teacher had said could have driven through the traffic cameras. _

But as Nick stood up, he suddenly remembered something else.

"_I saw her get into her Mom's car! It was your car! Emily just got in! I thought it was her Mom! It was the same car…"_

The killer had relied on Emily's resemblance of the car to lure her. Forget candy. This person used cars.

Was it possible the killer chose victims based on the cars he could get his hands on? Did he have access to many different cars?

Was Emily randomly selected because the killer could get a hold of the same car Sara drove?

What kind of person could get hold of many different cars?

Quickly, Nick made his way through the lab, and found a computer. Logging on, he quickly typed in Melanie Banks' details. And the brand of her car.

Melanie owned a Porsche Boxster X.

With a flurry of fingers he did an area search, looking for the same brand of car in the Las Vegas area.

There were only three, besides Melanie's. An uncommon car indeed. But as Nick glanced at the list, he realized it was unlikely that the killer's car was listed there. Although he followed all the other three names, it wasn't likely. A 73-year-old man owned one of them, and his car had been impounded when he had a heart attack a week ago. Another to a successful businesswoman, and the other to the 16-year-old daughter of one of Las Vegas's casino owners. None of them had connections to anyone who fit the profile of the "Babysitter".

But maybe it was possible that the car was unregistered.

Surely it wouldn't be hard to find an unregistered car…

Flipping open his phone, he made a call to Grissom. He reached voicemail. Angered, Nick tried Brass, and reached him.

"Brass? This is Nick. I need you to keep an eye out for a Porsche Boxster."

"Got anything else to tell me about the car? That's not much to go on."

"Its most probably unregistered," Nick told him. He heard Brass sigh.

"I'll do what I can."

The dial tone assaulted Nick's ear.

He couldn't just wait for Brass to find that car! That little girl was being hurt now! He couldn't just sit here and wait for someone to find the car, or worse, her body.

His mind set, he left the lab, and got into his car.

He _would_ find that car himself, and he would find that little girl.

Even if he had to do it all by himself.

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW :)


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Sorry for taking so long to update. Life got in the way, as it does. Thanks to all who reviewed. I've almost written the next chapter of this as well, so it should be up really soon. As you can probably see, the story has changed names. The name I originally had i only used because i couldnt think of anything else.

Un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine.

Enjoy!

* * *

Las Vegas was a big city. Not only was there The Strip, and the downtown area, there were the other suburbs and made up the greater Las Vegas Area. Nick had no idea where to start looking. If he were a sensible man, he would have done more research, and worked out a search area. But he was a man on a mission. He wasn't thinking about the logic. He was thinking about that little girl.

About Emily.

He drove slowly down streets, looking, without a plan. Looking for that car. The Porsche. Brass still hadn't gotten back to him, and it was looking less and less likely that there was an unregistered Porsche in Las Vegas.

Suddenly, something clicked in his mind. He pulled over, and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He quickly dialed Brass's number.

"Brass."

"It's Nick," Nick said urgently. "There are three registered Porsche Boxsters' in Las Vegas. One of them was impounded last week. An old man had a heart attack?"

"Yeah, I know about that," Brass said, his voice sounding confused. Nick nodded to himself.

"I need you to tell me where it was impounded to."

Las Vegas had two police impound yards. One near Henderson, and the other closer to the Las Vegas Crime Lab. Cars that had been used in a crime were taken to the one closer to the lab, while minor car dealings were taken to the one near Henderson, a privately owned impound lot that the police used. Nick already had a sneaking suspicion.

"It was taken to the Henderson impound lot," Brass informed Nick, making his suspicion correct.

"How many cars have been taken there this past month?" Nick asked.

"I wouldn't have a clue," Brass admitted. "But I'd say there wouldn't be many. You know that's not the major impound lot?"

Nick knew, he just didn't care. All he cared about was the other cars that had been impounded there. Brass obviously didn't know.

"Thanks," Nick said hurriedly, and hung up the phone. Putting the car into gear, he sped off in the direction of Henderson.

He felt his phone ring, and he ignored it. It was probably Brass or Grissom. Brass reminding him not to do anything stupid, and Grissom reminding him not to make the case personal.

He didn't need to hear that.

He continued to ignore the phone ringing, but it didn't stop. He pulled out the phone, just as it stopped ringing. He shrugged, and stuffed it deeper into his pocket, turning the phone off as he did so.

He didn't want any disturbances.

It was almost dusk when Nick arrived at the impound lot. It was deserted. Nick parked his car, and hopped out, the sound the door made as it slammed sounding very out of place. It was so silent.

Big gates surrounded the lot, and as Nick walked towards it, he saw it.

The Porsche Boxster

There were a couple of other cars as well. Including one that looked exactly like Sara's car.

Ignoring the lump that formed in his throat whenever he though about Sara, he grabbed his phone out of his pocket. A sign hung on the gate, which held a number to call for after hour's assistance. He was so close to getting this guy. He could tell. A rush of energy pulsated through his veins at the thought.

_Graeme Connors. _

The name starred at him from the sign. His phone still in his hands, Nick started to walked around the impound. There were no houses around except for the small workshop at the back of the lot.

A light was on.

Graeme Connors was still there.

He continued to walk around the lot, and to his surprise, he found a small hole in the fencing. Small. About the size of his hand. He stuffed the phone back into his pocket, and grabbed the edges of the fencing with his hands, and with surprising strength, started to pull it back. The wire was cutting his hands, but he didn't feel it. He continued to make the hole bigger, until he could just squeeze through it.

Wiping his bloody hands on his jeans, he maneuvered his way through the fencing, the sharp wire cutting through his T-shirt, and into his flesh. He held back a moan of pain, and got through the fence. He glanced down at the cut on his side.

He'd survive.

Moving silently, Nick moved closer to the building, glancing through one of the small windows. He could just make out the head of a man. Graeme, most likely. There was only one room inside.

He couldn't see Monica Banks.

Was it possible that Nick was jumping to conclusions? Had he been so focused on saving that little girl that he was willing to blame anyone? Disgusted with himself, Nick turned away from the building.

And he heard a sniffle.

He stopped in his tracks.

Then he heard another.

It sounded like a little girl crying.

Nick glanced around desperately. It had been so faint that he wondered whether he had imagined it.

Would the guy keep the girl here? Hell, he'd seen crazier things.

With the trained eyes of an investigator, he looked around the area, and his eyes fell on what looked like a trapdoor, half concealed behind a bush. He approached it silently. Graeme Connors was still here. His breathing was fast, and it took everything he had inside of him to keep quiet. This could be it.

With a start, Nick realized that he was only a block away from the place they had found Emily's cell phone. She had been that close that whole time.

He could have saved her.

His little girl had been so close, and he still hadn't been able to save her.

Nick began to shake now, and with even more determination then he thought possible, he quickly walked over to the trap door, pushing the large scraggy bush away from it. It was about half a meter across both ways, and without the bush, stuck out in the dirt like a sore thumb.

And he heard another small sob, causing Nick to start breathing uncontrollably. Monica was there. She was right there.

He fell to his knees, and to his surprise, found no lock on the door. With a quick look around, he pulled the door open, letting the wood smack down into the dirt.

Without a second thought, Nick jumped into the hole, and started to run down the wooden stairs. It was steep, and he had to grab onto the walls to keep himself from falling. Monica's cry's becoming louder.

He reached the landing, and his eyes squinted around in the dark.

And all of a sudden, light flooded the room.

Graeme Connor's stood a few meters in front of Nick. He looked about as shocked as Nick did. His dark eyes scanned the intruder, and he wiped his hands on his dirty pants. But Nick wasn't looking at him. His eyes had fallen into the corner, where tiny Monica Banks sat huddled, her knees curled up to her chest. She was bruised, and her cheeks were stained with tears. And she was naked.

But she was alive.

Quickly, Nick drew out his service pistol, but just as quickly, Graeme had snatched up Monica, causing Nick to lower it again, as Monica let out a tiny whimper of pain as Graeme grabbed her tiny arms.

"You're not welcome here, Nick Stokes."

Nick knew that voice. God, it had haunted his dreams for weeks. The same voice that he heard on the phone. _This _was the man who had destroyed his life. Taken away everything that mattered to him. The man that had driven Sara away from him.

He held up the pistol again, anger pulsing through his veins.

"Let her go."

Nick's voice came out strong, but it wasn't how he felt. He was so infuriated. He wanted this man to die.

Graeme just laughed, and a malice grin crossed his face.

"You're daughter… she was a pretty one, wasn't she?"

Nick grabbed the gun harder, his hands turning white, his breathing becoming more erratic, and his heart beating faster and faster. How dare this man talk about Emily! He didn't stop, however.

"She was probably my favorite, you know," he continued. "Most of them lose faith after a while. She didn't though. All she would ever say is '_My daddy will find me_.' '_My daddy loves me_.' My god, she wouldn't shut up. But I made her."

Nick didn't say anything, and Graeme laughed again.

"How does it feel?" He asked Nick. "You spend your life trying to help people. Find people. Solve crimes. Bring closure. How does it feel knowing you couldn't even find your own daughter? That you couldn't save her?"

"I tried…" Nick finally whispered. "God, I tried…"

He felt his defenses coming down. But he couldn't do this here. Graeme was trying to make him break down.

And it was working.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't stay calm when this monster was talking about his daughter like this. Talking about her last few days on earth.

"She didn't cry a lot," Graeme added thoughtfully. "Strong little sucker too. Stubborn. Never stopped believing that you would come and find her. Too much hope. No matter what I did, she didn't stop thinking you would come and save her. It was kind of depressing in the end, because I knew you wouldn't. You were her hero."

The room was silent, save for Monica's quiet whimpering.

"Some hero," Graeme said, a twisted smile forming on his face. He was mocking Nick.

The gun was starting to feel heavy in Nick's hands, and he re-gripped it, hard.

He wasn't going to let this man get away with this, again.

Monica was still crying, and Graeme shoved her roughly against him.

"Let. Her. Go." Nick said angrily. "Don't… don't you dare hurt her…"

Graeme suddenly reached into his back pocket, and pulled out his own gun. Nick sucked in a breath, terrified he would shoot the little girl. However, Graeme pulled it on Nick.

"Drop it," Nick said. He shook his head.

"Look, you've been standing there holding that gun at me for ages. If you were actually going to shoot me, you would have already."

Graeme cocked the gun, and more tears streamed down Monica's face.

Nick didn't care if Graeme killed him.

But he did care about Monica. He couldn't let her die.

And that's what made him pull the trigger.

Unfortunately, Graeme pulled his trigger as well.

* * *

The two loud cracks of fire scared Monica, who let out a scream. Nick's carefully aimed bullet hit Graeme in the abdomen, causing the man to let go of Monica, and fall to the ground.

Graeme's bullet hit Nick in the shoulder.

Nick couldn't even begin to describe the pain. It was like a thousand knifes hitting his body, and he let out a moan, dropping his gun and grabbing his shoulder. Blood started seeping through his fingers, and he started to find it hard to breathe.

Monica's scream brought him back, and still breathing frantically, he struggled over to the little girl. Her eyes were wide and scared, but she immediately wrapped her arms around Nick's neck when he lowered down, trying to ignore the pain still shooting through his body.

Graeme lay unconscious on the floor.

Nick hoped he was dead.

Cradling her in his arms, Nick started to stumble towards the stairs. Monica had buried her head in Nick's neck, and was crying.

"It's okay," Nick soothed softly, biting his lip in pain. But somehow, the joy of finding Monica was numbing the pain.

He _had_ saved her.

He reached the top of the stairs, and collapsed onto the dirt. Monica let him go, but stayed huddled at Nick's side as he pulled his mobile from his pants, his other hand continuing to apply pressure to his shoulder. But before he could even turn his phone on, Brass came running around the corner.

Nick should have known.

Brass would have come after him. His suspicious phone call about the impound yard would have made him wary about what Nick was going to do.

"I've got her," Nick said weakly, as Brass's eyes widened at the sight.

"Monica Banks…" Brass whispered. But his shock at seeing the little girl he expected to see dead the next day was short lived, when he realized Nick had been shot. He rushed to Nick's side, and quickly put a call out to an ambulance, police, and CSI.

"Graeme…" Nick managed to choke out. "Shot… I shot him… in basement… he had Monica… was gonna hurt… her… shot him…"

"Good work," Brass praised Nick. Monica had wrapped her arms around Nick's waist again, and Nick quickly dropped a small kiss on her head.

"It's alright," he told her again. The cold Las Vegas air was whipping around them, and she huddled closer.

"Thank you…" she whispered, her voice tiny, and Nick felt himself tearing up. He heard the sound of sirens nearing closer and a single tear slipped down his cheek. He had gotten shot to save this little girl, and it had been worth it.

If given the chance, he would have happily gotten shot if it had meant that Emily would still be here.

"You did good," Brass told Nick gently, as EMT's started to rush around the corner, followed by police officers. "You did good."

Nick shook his head, thinking of Emily.

"Not good enough."

* * *

TBC...

Please review!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Thought as a Christmas Pressie to everyone, I'd put the next chapter up on Christmas Eve. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and is sticking by this story. It has meant a lot to me. And because it is Christmas, this chapter won't be filled with much angst at all. Christmas is a time for happiness, and maybe, finally, our favourite couple might experience some happiness.

Maybe...

Anyway, thanks again to all those who reviewed, and i hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

* * *

The call came in early that night. 

Catherine was cooking vegetarian pasta for herself, Lindsey and Sara, who was asleep at the moment. Catherine had told her that she should get some sleep. Lindsey sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter, chopping up capsicum, chatting about something school related.

Then her cell phone rung.

Lindsey's eyes narrowed. "If that's work, Mom, you have to say no. You promised to spend the night with me…"

Without a word to her daughter, Catherine grabbed her mobile, and stepped out onto her porch.

Lindsey let out a groan, and threw the knife down onto the kitchen counter.

"What's wrong?"

Lindsey spun around and saw Sara standing there, rubbing her eyes from sleep. She just shrugged.

"Mom… I hate it when she gets called in for work."

Sara ambled over to the kitchen, and sat besides her. Her eyes glazed over Sara, and she smiled, noticing Sara's swollen stomach.

"You're having a baby!" She squealed softly, remembering. Sara let out a small smile of her own.

"Yeah…"

Lindsey looked at her. "You don't sound so happy…"

"I am happy," Sara told her, though Lindsey could tell that she wasn't. Not really. Her mom had told her about how Sara had left Nick. About how hard they had both taken Emily's death. Lindsey's smile faltered when she remember Emily. She really loved that little girl, and had promised to baby-sit for her when she got older.

Now she would never get the chance.

"Do you remember," Lindsey said suddenly, "When Emily was about four? You brought her here to make cookies, and she put half the mixture on her face. You came back half way through, and found her covered in it. You were pretty annoyed, but all she kept on saying was how she wanted to taste like cookies…"

Sara smiled, her lips pulling back in a genuine grin. "I remember that. I had the hardest time getting those chocolate chips out of her hair!"

Lindsey laughed. "It was funny."

Sara laughed a little bit. "Thanks…"

"You have to remember the good times, you know?" she said. "Don't forget about the memories. Always remember her being happy. Remember how silly she was. Remember how smart she was? She could say the states of America in alphabetical order!"

"Weren't you the one that taught her that 50 States of America song?" Sara asked her.

Lindsey nodded, grinning. Emily had been 3, and in a bid to educate her, Lindsey had taught her that song.

Sara rolled her eyes. "She would sing that day and night! It drove me and Nick crazy! At first it was cute, but then all I could think about at work were the states in that ridiculous tune!"

Lindsey giggled. "Sorry about that…"

Sara shook her head. "I miss it now though…"

Lindsey nodded. "Me too…"

There was silence for a while, before Sara spoke again. "Thanks."

Lindsey looked confused. "What for? Teaching her that song?"

She smiled again. "No… for helping me remember the good times…"

Lindsey smiled back at her. "And just you wait. I'll be teaching the same song to this little one!"

Suddenly, the kitchen door swung open, and Catherine raced inside, hair flying. Lindsey rolled her eyes.

"Mom… this better not be work!"

Catherine just stood there, her eyes wide, and they locked with Sara's confused ones.

"What's going on, Cath?"

"They got him…"

She didn't need to say anything else.

The Babysitter… they had got him.

And in that second, Sara finally got some of the closure she had longed for since her daughter's death.

Sara gasped, and felt tears welling up in her eyes. "The little girl…?"

"Alive," Catherine confirmed. Sara let out a small sob. Catherine immediately went and embraced Sara.

"Nick found them," She told Sara softly. She felt Sara tense, and she pulled back.

"Is… is he alright?" Sara choked out. She was trembling slightly, and Catherine shook her head.

"Sara… he got shot…"

Her words were soft, calming, but it did nothing to calm the brunette. Sara started to shake violently. She couldn't lose Nick now. She just couldn't.

"He's alive! He's already been treated at the hospital." Catherine told her quickly, and she saw Sara calm down slightly, but not much. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and Catherine saw an inner battle raging behind Sara's eyes.

"I need to see him," she whimpered softly, and turned to get changed.

"I'll take you!" Catherine called out. Then she remembered Lindsey. She turned to face her daughter, who just smiled at her.

"It's okay, Mom," she said. "I understand. Plus, it's not work. It's important that Sara sees him… you too."

Catherine pulled her daughter into her arms, just as Sara came into the kitchen, dressed in loose fitting jeans. Catherine noticed that Sara hadn't hid her pregnancy.

"Let's go," She said quickly, and after quickly kissing her daughter, Catherine and Sara headed out towards Desert Palm Hospital.

* * *

When Catherine and Sara arrived, they saw Brass standing at the front counter. His eye's widened when he saw Sara, but smiled at her as she approached. 

"Sara," he said softly, and pulled her into his arms. She relaxed into the embrace.

"Where's Nick?" She asked him. He gave her a small squeeze, and pulled back.

"He's gonna be fine," he assured her. "You should be able to see him soon."

Sara was still trembling, and Brass looked her over, and was surprised to see her swollen stomach, not painfully obvious, but sticking out none the less on Sara's tiny figure.

"Are congratulations in order?" he asked her, shooting Catherine a look. Sara nodded.

"Oh Sara," he said happily. "That's… wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I'm so happy for you."

He pulled her to him again, and Sara buried her face in Brass's shoulder, holding her father figure close to her. She felt tears well up in her eyes again, and she mumbled into Brass's shoulder.

"Please… I need to see Nick… please…"

Brass let her go, and glanced at the doctor's. "He's resting, sweetie. But I reckon we could get you in for a minute."

Sara smiled weakly. "I'd really appreciate it."

Brass stepped away to talk to a doctor. Sara could see him gesturing to her, and the doctor looking her up and down, before nodding. She could feel her heart in her throat as Brass came back, and gave her a nod of approval.

He led her to Nick's room, and Sara felt herself breaking down again. Suddenly, she was faced with questions. What if Nick didn't want to see her? That would explain why he had ignored her phone call when she had tried to call him earlier that day. What if he hated her for leaving? What if he blamed her for Emily's death? What if he didn't want this child?

She stopped outside Nick's room, and Brass squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

"He'll be happy to see you," he told her, as if reading her thoughts. She nodded, and with shaking hands, pushed the door open.

Nick lay in the hospital bed, asleep. He looked pale, but very much alive. She quietly closed the door, and made her way to Nick's bed, sitting down besides it, just starring at Nick's face. She had missed him so much.

Her hand crawled up onto the bed, and she threaded her slim fingers with his thick ones. He shifted in his sleep, and Sara found tears falling down her cheeks again. She could have lost him.

She stared at their entwined hands, and suddenly, she heard her name.

"Sara…?"

Nick's voice was tired, unbelieving. Shocked. She looked up, and her wet eyes met his own, and she shuffled closer to him.

"I'm here…" she whimpered softly, bringing his hand up to kiss the knuckles, her eyes never leaving his. He looked so shocked, confused. But mostly, he looked relieved. His other hand came up, and gently stroked her face, his fingers brushing the tears away from her skin.

"Don't cry, baby," he whispered to her. "Please don't cry. You know I hate seeing you cry."

More tears spilled from her eyes as she listened to this man, this wonderful selfless man, care more about how she was doing then how he was doing. His hand moved to her shoulder, and he pulled her down, so that her head rested against his uninjured left shoulder. His fingers continued to gently stroke her hair, and he brushed his lips against her forehead. She trembled against him, still struggling to accept that he still wanted to touch her. It wouldnt last when he found out she was pregnant, and that she had kept it from him.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out. Now he knew.

And now he would reject her.

His eyes widened, and she looked up at him struggling to come to terms with what she was saying.

"We're… having another baby?" he choked out. She nodded, and tensed, ready to take what was coming to her. Anger, misery. Rejection.

Suddenly, with amazing strength, he pulled her fully on the bed, and cradled her head in one of his hands, a grin the size of Texas on his face. He leant in, brushing his lips against hers, tasting her for the first time in weeks, months.

She whimpered, and tried to get closer to him. "I'm sorry I left," she whispered. "I was just… so scared."

His hand left her face, and gently tugged her shirt up, letting his hands brush against her swelling abdomen, where their baby was growing.

"I know,' he whispered. "I'm scared too."

He brought her to him again, wrapping his good arm around her small frame, hugging her to him, desperate for her touch, desperate to feel her against him again, to remind himself that she was actually there, that she actually came back. He pressed his lips to her forehead again, whispering to her as he did so.

"I knew you would come back."

Sara snuggled closer to him. "Nicky, I never really left you."

* * *

For Christmas i gave you a chapter. Maybe in return, you can bless me with a review :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Well...almost anyway. Thanks to all those who reviewed. The story is almost at its end. Probably 2 or 3 more chapters. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, and have a wonderful new year.

Unbeta'd because i just didnt.

* * *

Nick's mind was kind of fuzzy when he woke up hours later. There was a dull throbbing pain in his shoulder, which he put down to being shot. It didn't hurt a lot, which he was thankful for. However, he didn't expect to see Sara curled up at his side, fast asleep, her head on his chest. 

He had completely forgotten that she had come back. It would explain the unexplainable happiness that he found himself with now. Sara had come back.

With his right arm, he gently began to caress Sara's side, letting his fingers dance across her waist and down her hip. He was still hurt that she had left him, but the complete thrill of having her back almost erased the pain that she had given him when she had left.

His finger's suddenly stilled at her waist, and he remembered with a jolt that Sara was pregnant. He swallowed the impending joy, not wanted to wake Sara, and instead turned his palm the other way, and gently cupped her belly.

They were going to have another baby.

It would never replace Emily. No child would ever replace his first daughter. His first child. But it still would be loved. And for that to happen to the full, both he and Sara would have to work past what had happened.

And for that to happen, they could no longer blame themselves for what had happened to Emily.

Graeme Conner's had chose their daughter, and no matter how much they had protected Emily, he would have gotten her in the end. They had to stop blaming themselves. It would only hurt more.

But, finally, Nick had closure. Emily's killer had been caught. He had shot him. But Nick wondered. Had he killed him? Nick didn't want to have killed him. He wanted him to spend the rest of his life in prison. Death would be the easiest way out.

Nick would never forget Emily, or what had happened, but they did need to work past this, especially for the new baby's sake. They needed to be a strong family.

Nick pulled Sara closer to him, holding her tightly against him, almost afraid that if he let go she'd disappear. She whimpered softly in her sleep, and buried her face in his chest, just as Nick's door open. Grissom's head peered through.

Nick removed his hand from Sara's stomach, and gestured for Grissom to come inside, but pressed his finger to his lips, to signify that Sara was sleeping, and to be quiet. Grissom looked surprised to see her there, but nodded to Nick, and gently closed the door, before sitting down besides Nick.

"How are you?" Grissom whispered, as to not wake Sara. Nick gave him a small smile.

"I'm, uh, okay, actually," Nick said back softly. Sara didn't stir, so he continued. "I don't feel much, probably cos of the meds, but besides that… I… think I'm going to be… okay."

He paused for a moment, and then looked at Sara. "I got her back," he then said to Grissom. He nodded.

"You're lucky to have her."

Nick didn't say anything, and after a few moments of silence, he finally asked the question he longed to know.

"What… happened to Graeme Connors?"

Grissom's ocean blue eyes flashed at the name. "He's upstairs," he said bitterly. "He survived. But he's under 24-hour police surveillance. As soon as he wakes up, regardless of his condition, we're booking him."

Nick nodded, and looked at his injured shoulder. "So… what happened to me? Is it serious?"

Grissom shook his head. "You're lucky. The doctor's removed it, and it should heal up nicely. No permanent injury."

He fell silent again, and Sara finally stirred, a small yawn escaping her mouth as her eyes fluttered open. Nick's hand came up to her face, and gently caressed her cheek as she woke up. She smiled at him.

"Nicky…" she purred sleepily. Nick grinned.

"Hey there sleepyhead," he whispered. She smiled at him.

"How long was I asleep?" she questioned. Nick shrugged.

"A few hours, give or take."

She nodded, and gave another yawn. "Gosh, I'm so tired."

Suddenly, Nick became concerned, remembering she was now sleeping for two. "Have you been getting enough sleep?" he asked her worriedly. "When was that last time you ate?"

This man who seemed to care more about her than himself once again blew Sara away. She sat up and shrugged. "Probably not as much as I should be getting, and I don't know."

She caught sight of Grissom, and gave him a small smile. "Hey."

He smiled at her, but Nick grabbed her arm. "You need to eat Sara."

She nodded, knowing he was right, but also knowing she didn't want to leave him just yet. But then a knock sounded at Nick's door and Melanie Banks stuck her head through. She looked tired, but happy.

"Nick Stokes?" she asked, and Nick nodded. "Could, I, see you for a … please?"

Grissom stood up, and grabbed Sara's elbow, helping her off the bed. "Come on, Sara," he said. "Let's go to the cafeteria and get you something to eat."

Sara looked back at Nick, and he gave her a small smile. "That's a good idea," he told Grissom. She leant down, brushed her lips across Nick's, and Grissom then escorted her from the room, his hand at the small of her back. Nick knew she'd be safe with Grissom.

Melanie Banks stepped into the room, and to Nick's surprised, Monica was behind her, her hand clamped tightly around her mother's. Nick smiled at the little girl, and she smiled back at him. She looked much healthier now that she had had medical attention.

She ran over to Nick's bed, and climbed up onto it, before throwing herself at Nick, giving him a big hug. Nick's uninjured arm came up to hug her back, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. Melanie stood near the bed, her hand clamped over her mouth as she battled with her own sobs.

"Mr. Stokes… I… cant thank you enough," she choked out, her hand coming up to brush her tears away. "Thank you… so much."

Nick shook his head. "Call me Nick," he smiled softly at her. She came closer to the bed, and sat down in the chair that Grissom had previously occupied, and placed a hand on her daughter's back, before taking a deep breath, calming herself down.

"I'm just glad that she is okay," Nick told her.

Melanie nodded. "She will be."

Monica lifted her head and gave Nick a sweet smile. "Thank you," she whispered to him. Nick felt a tear break loose, and he hastily brushed it away.

"That's okay, sweetheart," he told her. Monica climbed off the bed, and into her mother's lap, and Melanie held her daughter tightly to her, rocking her gently.

"I really can't thank you enough," Melanie said again, her voice breaking again with emotion. "I just… don't know what would have happened if you hadn't found her."

"That wasn't an option," Nick said darkly, and Melanie shot him a small smile, before she quickly dropped it, and looked him straight in the eye.

"I'm so sorry about your daughter."

At the mention of Emily, Nick found all his resolve crumbling, but he pulled himself together, and gave her a small nod.

"I wasn't going to let it happen to another girl," Nick told her, and even though he tried to hold it back, a few tears came. Melanie lowered Monica to the ground, and gave Nick a tight embrace, holding him to her, as she sobbed too.

"I'm just happy that Monica is okay," Nick whispered to her, and Melanie smiled at him through her tears.

"I'm really sorry what happened to your daughter," she said again softly, and she pulled away, hauling Monica into her arms.

"But thank you so much for looking out for mine."

* * *

TBC...

REVIEW!!! YAY!!!!


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Remember me? The girl who hasnt update in a while? Yeah, well im back. Chapter is a bit shorter than i normally would put up, but its just how the story rolled. Thanks so much for the amazing reviews. Despite the fact they took a LONG time to come through, because this site was wacked out for weeks! What was with that? Honestly! i dont think its completely fixed yet either, but i guess we'll have to survive!

Thanks again, and have a good one!!!!

* * *

The door opened, and Sara stepped inside her and Nick's house for the first time in what seemed like forever. Nick was in front of her, his finger's laced through hers as he gently pulled her inside. He had just been released from hospital, almost 3 days since he had been shot, and she hadn't needed convincing when he had asked her to come home with him. She hadn't really left his side since she had arrived at the hospital, and he in turn had been unwilling to let her go.

Their relationship was still fragile, and both of them were putting in the effort to keep it from crumbling away.

Nick closed the door, and Sara was left to look around the home she had abandoned so many weeks ago, and was surprised at how much things looked the same. It looked as though nothing had changed since she had left. A pair of her shoes still sat at the door, one of her sweaters still hung over a chair, and a thin layer of dust covered the coffee table, where a mug she had used a lifetime ago still sat.

Stunned, she turned to face Nick, who instead, wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, and nuzzled her neck. She trembled slightly, and he held her more tightly to him.

"What's going on?" she questioned softly. "Why… it's like no one's lived here…"

Nick's lips brushed against her neck, and Sara shivered.

"I couldn't come here when you left," he admitted, his voice low against her neck. "Everything… it reminded me too much of you… and Emily… I just… couldn't deal with it."

Sara turned in his arms, and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning up to brush her lips against his. He deepened the kiss, the first passionate kiss they had shared since she had returned. It had seemed like forever, but his mouth still knew hers. He felt his arousal heighten, and his body began to ache for hers.

But she would have to initiate it. The last time he had, she had pushed him away, not ready. But this time, it didn't seem like she would. Her fingers quickly made work of the buttons of his shirt, her mouth never leaving his. His hands caressed her back, and he quickly pushed her into the bedroom, the back of her knees hitting the bed, as they both collapsed onto the mattress.

"I've missed you so much," he mumbled to her desperately, his lips attacking her neck. She whimpered, and pulled him up to kiss her again. Her lips were swollen, but he still kissed them with as much passion as he could muster.

"I missed you too," she whispered against his lips. His hands were removing her shirt, and within minutes, both had shed their clothes. Sara's fingers brushed over Nick's small bandage on his shoulder, stroking the healing wound through the material. Leaning up, she brushed her lips over it.

The reminder of what had happened, of what he had done.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he whispered to her, resting his forehead against hers. She nodded.

She'd never been surer of anything.

* * *

_You're my survival, you're my living proof.  
My love is alive not dead._

* * *

Sara woke later that night, to find the spot besides her bare. Disappointed, she slipped out of bed, wrapping the sheet around her, as she left the bedroom. Nick wouldn't have just left her alone. He was still here.

She searched the living room, kitchen, and the laundry. Her heart constricted when she worked out where he was, and she stepped inside the room cautiously.

Nick sat in the middle of Emily's room, legs crossed, just starring. She watched him for a minute, and when he didn't look up at her, she walked over to him, climbing into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, but didn't look at her.

They were silent for a while, before Nick finally spoke.

"I, uh, guess we need to start getting rid of this now, huh?" he choked out. "I mean… the baby's going to need a room, right?"

Sara tightened her grip on him, burying her face in his shoulder. He was trembling. This was hard for him.

"The baby could just have the study," she told him. "We don't… have to do this now…"

Nick shook his head. "It's not going to get any easier," he whispered. "The sooner, the better. The longer we put this off, the harder its going to be. We need to move past this. You're pregnant, Sar. We need to pull ourselves together, not just for our sake, but for the baby's as well."

Sara nodded. What Nick was saying was true.

Nick stood up, pulling Sara up as well, securing the sheet around her more tightly.

"When do you want to do this then?" she asked him softly. He hesitated for a moment.

"Today."

"Today?" Sara questioned, surprised. Nick nodded, and wrapped his arms around her, letting his hand come to rest on her abdomen.

"Emily was brought into this world to loving, supportive and happy parents," he breathed. "This child deserves everything Emily had. Even more. I don't want your pregnancy to be stressful, sweetheart."

"I don't want to erase Emily from our lives," Sara whispered sadly. Nick shook his head, and brushed his lips over her forehead.

"She'll never be erased," he said softly. "Never forgotten. I'll never forget her, regardless of what we do with her stuff. Will you?"

Sara shook her head.

"See?" Nick added. "She'll always be with us."

Sara buried her face in Nick's chest, and he gently stroked her bare back. This was a new beginning for them.

They'd clear Emily's room.

Wash the dishes.

Wipe down the coffee table.

Do the laundry.

And start to live again.

Together.

* * *

TBC...

PLEASE REVIEW:)

Only 2 more chapters left!


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **Thank everyone SO SO MUCH for the reviews! They made my day! Honestly! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Its sad that this story is coming to an end, but thank you all so much for sticking with me this far. It means a lot. :)

Read Away!

* * *

Someone was nudging his shoulder, and Nick immediately rolled away from the person responsible. However, a quick poke to his ribs woke him, and he sat up, a hand clutching his head as he fumbled with the lamp besides his bed. 

"Sara…" he mumbled sleepily. "What's going on?"

He turned to face her, and her eyes were wide, scared.

"I… I think it's happening," she whispered, her voice trembling. She was sitting up in bed, one arm slung over her protruding belly, and her whole body was shaking. Immediately, Nick look at her in pure excitement.

"It's happening?" he asked her, just for clarification.

She nodded, her eyes wincing in pain. "And it hurts," she added.

Nick jumped out of bed, pulling on jeans and a shirt he had placed by his bed, just in case this happened during the night. He threw on a jacket, and went to grab his shoes, before he heard Sara called out for him.

"A little help?" she asked weakly, as she tried to get out of bed. Feeling like an idiot, Nick went to her, helping her out. She was still trembling, and it took them a while before they finally made it to the car, only stopping briefly to collect the small bag Sara had packed a week ago to take to the hospital.

Nick had taken the entire week off, the same week that was Sara's due date, just in case she went into labor. It was almost midnight now, and the roads to the hospital were relatively clear. He kept one hand on the steering wheel, and the other wrapped around Sara's hand, which gripped his tightly every so often when she experienced a contraction. They were coming in shorter and shorter intervals, meaning that Sara wouldn't be in labor for that long at all.

He pulled up at the hospital, and shot Sara a look.

"You ready, sweetheart?" he asked her softly. She nodded, and with that, Nick hopped out of the car, and went to help Sara out. She was breathing heavily, as another contraction rippled through her body.

But soon enough, they were in the hospital. Sara was placed in a room, and Nick was by her side, holding her hand as she continued to encounter more and more painful contractions.

The last 6 months had been a whirlwind of emotions for the both of them. They had both returned to work, and, in a bid to put what had happened behind them, and make a fresh start, they had bought a new home. A new home for new beginnings. It seemed that things were finally falling back into place.

Graeme Connor's had pleaded guilty, and had been sentenced to death, something nearly everyone in Las Vegas was pleased about, especially Nick and Sara. Justice had been served.

So the months had rolled by. Sara had gotten bigger, and an ultrasound had shown a very healthy baby. Nick and Sara had decided not to learn the gender of the baby, and left it to surprise.

As Nick sat in the hospital, he couldn't help but remember when Emily had been born. About how happy he had been, and how happy Sara had been. About how everything had seemed so perfect.

A tear rolled down his cheek. Half of happiness, and half out of sadness, and Sara reached up brushing the tear away. He looked at her in surprise.

"I should be the one comforting you, darlin'," he whispered to her, moving his own hand down to caress her cheek. Sara sniffed, but shook her head.

"Everything's going to be okay," she told him. He nodded, and leant down, brushing his lips over the crown of her head. She tensed, but not from his proximity, but from another contraction. Her head rolled back against the pillows, and Nick wiped the sweat of her forehead.

"So, what about names?" he asked her, trying to get her mind off her labor. She blinked and shook her head.

"I don't know," she admitted. "What do you want? Boy or Girl?"

Nick just shook his head. "Healthy," he told her, and she smiled.

"I love you," she said softly, and Nick leant down to brush his lips across hers.

"Love you too, darlin'."

Their words were cut short, as the nurse informed them that Sara had dilated 10 centimeters. Suddenly, Sara's breathing became faster, and she began to panic.

"Shhh," Nick told her gently. "It will be okay. We'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

He didn't know whether he was reassuring her, or himself. Everything was about to change again. He and Sara were going to have another chance at being parents. Their lives were going to change completely.

Emily had always wanted a little brother and sister, but he and Sara had never actually spoken about having more children. Now it seemed that she was finally getting what she wanted. Too bad she wouldn't be around to experience it.

Nick was pushed back to reality when a nurse called out 'Push!'. He grabbed Sara's hand tighter, shooting glances at her every so often, and pressing kisses to her forehead whenever she finished pushing.

Suddenly, a small cry filled the room, and Sara's head lolled to the side, exhausted, as the newborn was carried off to be clean, and as Nick looked over, he caught the first glance of his new baby.

His heart was beating fast as he glanced back at his wife, and she looked up at him, smiling happily, as he leant down and pressed hips lips fully against hers.

"So proud of you…" he mumbled against her lips. She let out a sigh, and as he pulled away, the new baby was handed to him.

"Congratulations," the nurse said, smiling as she handed over the tiny bundle. "You have a beautiful daughter."

"Oh God," Nick whispered softly, as his new daughter was placed in his arms. She looked up at him, with big brown eyes, and she looked so much like Emily, that, for a moment, Nick was transported back to when Emily was born.

"She looks… so much like Emily," Nick whispered. Sara arched her neck, trying to get a better look. Nick placed the baby in Sara's arms, and immediately, Sara's eyes filled with tears, and she ran a finger along the side of the baby's face.

"Hey baby girl," Sara cooed softly, as tears streamed down her face. She made no move to wipe them away, and instead, leant forward to press a small kiss to her daughter's forehead. She yawned, and Sara cradled her against her chest, smiling at Nick as she did so.

"What's her name?" she asked Nick. He was starring at the little girl, his eyes focused on the tiny bundle that he and Sara had created. A life that was now completely in their hands.

Was it wrong to feel both happiness and sadness at a time like this?

Sara was looking at him, asking him with her eyes what he wanted the little girl to be called. She wanted Nick to name her.

Nick's hand came forward, and he gently stroked his daughter's hair, letting his big fingers play with the tiny curls on her head. Everything about his new daughter reminded him of Emily, and all of sudden, it wasn't as sad as it used to be. Emily had been a part of his and Sara's life, and in doing so, she was a part of their new daughter's as well.

Just because she was gone, it didn't mean she would be forgotten.

"Faith," Nick whispered softly. "Her name is Faith."

Sara looked at him, her eyes wide and wet. "Faith?" she questioned. It was a beautiful name, but she felt that there was more to it than met the eye.

Nick picked up Faith from Sara's arms, and cradled her against his own chest.

"Yes," Nick said softly. "Faith. Because Emily never lost it."

His eyes locked with Sara's, and she gave him a small smile, before he looked back down at his daughter.

"And I hope she never does too."

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The End.

Epilogue to follow.

Please Review :)


	18. Epilogue

**A/N: **OHHHHH **MYYYY** GOOOODDD!! Epilogue!! Wow, its been quite a journey, and thanks to everyone who reviewed along the way.

This will take a while, but oh well.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed over the last 17 chapters.

**KittyDoggyLover, rwf05, kelticsgirl, Jill Shore, wraiths-angel, jdcocoagirl, Nikky's girl, nickysbabygirl, Januarynineteen, rachelle, saraluver, JC, heather, missiemeghan, MollyMKS, Mma63, NicknGrisfan, Jenny70529, vikki, bene, writerbitch92, csialltheway, Just Thinking, Lindsey, thegreatbluespoon, CSI-4077, sciencegeek82, AngelKougaeri, singingstarryknights, snickers, Treyann, Isabell89, lovestoact, TVCrazed, SarahRead, Amiah, Doctorjohn, Paige Halliwell-Matthews, katydid13, sbrown, Rainy, angie, bubble-rouge08, Famous4it, heartagram69, necira, Veronica10, Kayla, forensicsfan, BackstreetBoysForever, AspiringNovelist14, QueenBeeKatie.**

A special mention to those people that have reviewed right through the story, from beginning to end. Your support and comments have been so nice. Some of the things people have said have been so wonderful, and thanks so much for sticking through this story. Im so pleased with the response. Thank you so much. I already have a few ideas for some new stories, and i will be continuing to work on The Decision.

Thanks so much! And i hope you enjoy the epilogue.

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A loud squeal could be heard over the playground. A little girl swung on the swings, her smile wide, and her laughter loud as her father pushed her on the swing.

Faith Stokes let out another squeal, and demanded her father push her higher. The 5-year-old was full of energy, and sometimes it seemed like neither Nick or Sara could keep up with her, if not for trying. But in reality, they couldn't have asked for a more incredible child. The last 5 years had been a godsend to them. Faith had been a gift from God to them. A gift to help them. And it had worked.

Nick eventually let the swing pull to a stop, and Faith let out a pout.

"Daaaddy…" she whined, shuffling her tiny body in the hope of getting the swing moving again. "Don't wanna stop!"

Nick just smiled, and lifted her out of the swing, before settling her on the ground.

"Sweetheart, you know I only said a quick swing. Mommy has to take Josh home."

She continued to pout, her cheeks still rosy red from the exertion. She placed her hands on her hips, in direct representation of her mother.

"Josh always ruins everything!"

Nick frowned at her, and she immediately smiled at him, trying to win her father's forgiveness. She knew he didn't like it when she blamed her little brother.

Nick just shook his head, smiling back at her, and grabbed her hand in his, walking the short distance over to Sara, who was seated on a picnic blanket with their two year old son, Joshua.

Josh held out his chubby hands, trying to reach out to his father. Sara placed him down on the blanket, and he walked over the Nick, who kneeled down on the ground to grab him. Faith had climbed over to Sara, and sat in front of her.

"Dada," Josh spoke to Nick. He broke out in a grin, something that happened every time his youngest spoke. His son then pointed to Sara, who was pulling Faith's chocolate curls into a plait.

"Mama."

"That's right," cooed Sara, and in response, Josh broke out in a gummy smile. Faith wriggled out of her mother's gasp, and sat closer to Josh, pointing at herself.

"Faif."

She shook her head. "FAITH."

"Faif."

Sara placed her hand on Faith's shoulder. "Give him time, sweetie."

Faith narrowed her eyes. "I learnt his name. He should learn mine."

"And he will," Nick added, giving his son a quick kiss on the head. "In time."

Faith shrugged, and Nick stood up, scooping Josh up as well. "Are we off?"

Sara nodded, and stood up, folding the blanket away as Nick held Josh against his hip, speaking to him, trying to teach him new words. Sara tucked the blanket under her arm, and brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face, and glanced around. She frowned.

"Nick, where's Faith?"

He looked around the deserted park, and found no sign of his daughter. Sara's face paled.

"FAITH?" She yelled out, dropping the blanket onto the ground. "FAITH?"

Holding on tight to Josh, Nick quickly jogged around the area, calling out Faith's name, his heart beating so fast. The park was still empty, and judging by Sara's still frantic calling, she hadn't managed to locate their daughter either.

This couldn't be happening again.

It just couldn't.

"FAITH!" Nick yelled out. Josh started to cry, and Nick immediately tried to soothe him. Sara suddenly appeared at his side, and grabbed Josh of Nick, holding him to her chest, her face still ashen.

"I can't find her," she whimpered softly. "She just disappeared, Nick!"

Josh was still crying, and Sara rocked him slowly against her chest, as her own tears formed in her eyes.

"Call the police," she cried softly, her entire body shaking, but Nick held up his hand, silencing her, as he starred off into the bushes. The foliage was thick, but he could still make out the faint color of something baby blue, the same color as Faith's sundress. His heart was still beating erratically, and he quickly jogged over to the bushes, scared that someone had taken her in there to hurt her.

But as he got closer, he heard her giggling, and talking.

"FAITH!" he yelled out again, the fear he felt being replaced by anger. His daughter should have known better than to wander off without telling them!

He pushed the bushes apart, and found his daughter standing in a void where nothing grew, almost like a secret hiding place between the bushes.

Alone.

"What do you think you're doing?" Nick said angrily, crouching down in front of Faith. "Didn't you hear us calling you?"

Faith shook her tiny head. "I was talking."

Nick looked around. "I don't see anyone, Faith. Are you lying to me?"

Her eyes grew wide. "No! There was a little girl."

Sara had made her way over to the bushes, and at sighting Faith, let out a sob of happiness, and embraced her tightly, Josh still whimpering on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Sara asked her desperately. Faith nodded. "I was just talking."

Sara stood up, and shot Nick a look of confusion that he felt as well. Nick kneeled down in front of her again.

"I don't see anyone here," he told her softly. Faith rolled her eyes.

"Well she's not here anymore."

"Was she with her parents?"

Faith shook her head. "She was by herself."

Nick suddenly felt concerned. A little girl shouldn't be wandering around by herself, and judging by the look Sara gave him, she felt the same way. He pulled out his phone.

"Did she tell you her name?" he asked Faith. She nodded.

"Emily."

Nick stopped. "Emily?" he questioned her, feeling a familiar ache start to rise in his chest at the mention of that name. "Did you see where she went? Did someone take her?"

Faith shook her head. "She just disappeared."

Nick narrowed his eyes in confusion. "She what?"

Faith just shrugged her tiny shoulders. "She comes and goes all the time."

He blinked, still very confused, and looked up at Sara, who was looking at Faith, her eyes as wide as her daughter's. Faith was just looking at them oddly.

Nick suddenly reached into his back pocket, and pulled out his wallet. Feeling slightly foolish, he opened it, and with trembling fingers, pulled out the picture of Emily he kept in there, the last picture he'd ever taken of her, and showed it to Faith.

"Is… is this her?" Nick asked, his voice shaking. Faith broke out in a smile.

"That's her!"

Sara let out a gasp, and Nick turned back to look at her again. He and Sara hadn't yet told Faith about Emily, planning to wait until she was a bit older, and had more of an idea about the concept of death before they told her. They kept pictures of her around the house, except they were younger pictures of Emily, as a baby, and as a toddler. Faith couldn't have known Emily.

"Sweetheart," Nick said lightly. "Are you sure that is her?"

Faith nodded. "That's her. That's Emily."

Nick took a deep breath. "When else have you seen her?"

Faith considered this. "Sometimes at night. She comes into my room when I'm scared. Sometimes I just see her. She makes me laugh. She's my friend."

Nick closed his eyes, and let out a deep breath. Could it be possible that Faith was seeing Emily? He'd never dismissed the idea of foreign beings, or spirits, but it had never happened to him. Was it possible that Emily had come back as a spirit, to help guide Faith?

"She knows you," Faith said softly, looking at Nick. "And mommy, she knows you too."

Nick looked up at Sara, and saw tears running down her face. She was holding tightly onto Josh, hugging him closely to her body.

Faith walked over to Sara, and wrapped her arms around Sara's legs.

"She told me to give you a hug," she mumbled. "She tries but you don't feel her. She told me."

Nick stood up, grabbing Josh off Sara so she could fall to the ground to grab Faith, hugging her tightly as she cried, and just like that, it wasn't as if Sara was just hugging Faith, but hugging Emily as well.

Sara stood up, still holding Faith against her, stroking her back. Nick wrapped one arm around the both of them, Josh between them, as they all stood there, and for the first time, stood completely as a family. Emily was there with them.

Nick could feel her, and so could Faith.

Faith was the one who restored everything within their tiny family, reminded Nick and Sara that not all was lost, that Emily was still there. That not everything looks the way it should be, and that someone is never truly gone.

And that the most important thing of all is keeping faith.

Because he who loses faith, loses all.

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**THE END!! THE END!! THE END!!**

**REVIEW:)**


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